All My Fault
by LayLayX
Summary: Finn and Rachel stay behind to do some glee practice, Something happens that changes Rachel's life forever... Finn blames himself and Rachel blames the world? What happens to her through this dramatic journey? involves rape
1. All My Fault

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I just felt so useless, I couldn't do anything about it and I hated that, I hated myself. What those evil people did to the girl I loved, and all I was able to do was lie there and watch it, have my mind poisoned by the sight, but I couldn't look away, not even for a second, I needed to keep my eyes fixated on her, to let her know that it would be over soon, that it would be okay and to let her know he loved her.

He couldn't speak the words, but his eyes spoke them for him, although the were full or hurt, anger and pain, love shone through and he knew she could see it.  
He cringed as her cries filled the small rooms, as her pleads to be let go could be heard everywhere, he cringe even more as the men shut her up, It was in human what they were doing to her, how could they do this? What sort of animals were they?

He watched every second of what happened to her, right from the beginning and that night would stay in his memory forever. One thing he couldn't get out of his head was the thought, what if they didn't stay late that night? What if they just went home? Finn blamed himself, he was the one who wanted to go over the song, she did say she was tired but he begged her to stay, and she agreed, if he had of just listened none of this would have happened, to his girl.

Everything started when they were just leaving the choir room, they heard a noise from around the corner, as they turned they found where it was coming from, 3 large built men now stared at them "Well, well" they said "We have some late stayers" one man said looking each one of them up and down, he had an evil grin on his face, Finn became suspicious and placed himself slightly in front of Rachel. The men edged towards each of them and Finns stance became protective.

"What are you doing here so late?" one asked them

"Practising" Rachel said, quickly, he voice was low and Finn could tell she was scared, but she didn't show it to the men

"What for?" the man asked staring at Rachel, Finn edged closer to her, not liking the way the man looked at her

"Glee" Rachel said, still in he low tone of voice, this made Finn upset, seeing her scared, he was there to protect her and he sort of liked that, he took her hand and began walking again, only to be stopped by the men

"Glee eh? Want to give us a show?" the man winked and Finn became slightly more uneasy, not liking what was happening one bit

"It's getting late, we would just like to get home" Rachel said, they once more tried to walk only to get stopped again

"I don't think I want you to leave" the man said "I'd like you to stay for a bit, put on a little show for us?"

"We just want to go" Finn spoke up moving forward towards the men, keeping up the protective manly stance

"Sorry mate, you're not my type, It's your girlfriend I want" he grinned and then laughed, and evil laugh that sent shivers down Finn's spine "You can leave now though, feel free" he moved out of the way and actioned his hand down the hall

"I'm not his girlfriend" Rachel spoke, trying to sound confident, but Finn could tell she was now terrified

"Good" the man said smiling widely as he grabbed Rachel and pulled her out from behind Finn, Finn immediately put his hand on the man's arm and attempted to loosen the grip, the man swung his other arm and it connected with Finn's cheek, his head swung to the side.

He looked back up at the man, he was grinning now and looking at Rachel in a way Finn really didn't like, he sung his own arm to connect with the man's face, the man's face sung to the side as he looked at Finn a look on his face that said he really didn't like what he just did. The man turned and looked at the other two men behind him, they walked to his side and each one took one of Finn's arms and held him while the other man pounded his fists into Finn's stomach.

Finn buckled in pain with each blow, he was fully winded and he began to feel faint and sick, he vision became blurred and he finally slumped over not able to hold his own weight, the two men at either side of him now held him to his feet, the let their grip go and Finn slumped to the ground, now all three off them pounded their feet against his body, he tried to get to his feet again with every bit of strength in his body, but their wasn't nearly enough, blood now poured from his face, as the pounds stopped he looked up to see Rachel, he hands covering her mouth and her face covered in tears, his eyes connected with hers and worry struck him as he thought about what was about to come to her.

He was just able to lie there, every time he attempted to get up he would receive another kick slumping him back to the ground again, He just lay there while the other man did awful things to Rachel.

He watched as his hand stroked her all over, and his lips connected with her lips and she tried to pull away but he was strong and forced his lips to hers. He watched as he looked her up and down and licked his lips, he watched as he began to rip her clothes from her with the same look on his face, a look of hunger, it sickened him, everything in his body wanted to kill that man, but every time he tried the other two were right there to kick him back down, keeping him on the ground helpless and leaving Rachel even more helpless.

Finn watched as the man now took of his clothes and he watched as he did it, he raped her, He raped his beautiful Rachel Berry and there was nothing he could do. He watched her cry and scream and try to fight him off, but when she did this it made the man ever madder and he kept going with a huge grin on his face, Finn finally felt a small bit of happiness when the man sipped his trousers back up and walked away from Rachel "We got more than we wanted here" he smirked, he lifted papers from the floor and nodded to the other two who joined him "It's been a pleasure" he said smugly as he turned and walked away, Finn watched him, when he heard the door close he sighed with relief and got to his feet slowly, he wiped his face, his hand becoming red with blood.

He looked to the ground and rushed to Rachel, cradling her in his arms, he pulled out his cell phone and he called the police. Within 5 minutes police and ambulance where there and both Finn and Rachel were put into the back of the ambulance, both silent not able to say a word.

Thoughts running through Finn's mind, one in particular. _It's my entire fault._


	2. That Day Ruined My Life

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It felt so horrible, I wish I said no to Finn we could have missed it all and none of would have never happened, but now it's etched into my mind for my entire life, nothing will ever be worse than that night, no horrible nightmare will ever be like that, nothing can match it.

To not be able to do anything, to just have to lie there and let all of that happen to me, to feel so weak and not be able to fight him off, its' the worst feeling in the world, with Finn just lying there being tortured every time he tried to help me, who could do such a thing? Who could find pleasure in inflicting so much pain on others? It's sick, whoever he was he must have had a sick mind and he deserves to rot in hell!

I fell so dirty, so unclean now, I wanted my first time to be special, I wanted it to be with someone I really loved and I wanted it to be when I wanted it to happen! Not when some disgusted man forced himself upon me. I hated it every minute, I cried and screamed and tried to fight my way out, but nothing worked he over powered me and he seemed to like when I fought him, he got more aggressive and he would grin at me, it made me feel sick.

I don't know if I will ever be able to be intimate again, All I will think of is that, the pain and the fear that I felt, Nothing will ever be the same, that day has ruined my life forever.

Rachel lay in the hospital bed, her dads where beside her, but she never spoke, she hadn't spoke a word since she left the school, she wouldn't tell anyone what happened, he dad's had to hear it from a police officer and he heard it from Finn.

She just lay there staring at the ceiling, her dad's tried to talk to her, but they never got a reply. She just stared at them, he eyes sort of glazed over, they wondered if she even knew they were there.

Finn was let out a few hours later; he went straight to her room ignoring his mother. He tapped the door lightly before entering, he seen her and his broke all over again, her dads looked at him, a look that he could tell had a bit of sympathy, but also hope, hope that she would talk to him, He approached the bed his eyes still fixated on him, he tried to connect with her eyes, but there was nothing to connect with, it was like she was a robot, she had no life in her.

"Rach" he said when he was finally at her side, he took her hand in his and rubbed in gently looking at her whole body, she looked awful, but even now she still looked beautiful "Rachel?" he said again when he got no answer the first time, he looked to her dads and they both just shook their heads, he understood what this meant, his attention was drawn back to her as the hurt filled his body even more, seeing her like this killed him

She went the whole day in hospital without talking to anyone, Her dads left her and Finn alone, but even then a single word never left her lips, When the nurses told her she could go home, but first she should give a statement to the police she just blanked them, she blanked her dads who tried to get her to talk to the police officer, but she just walked straight past and out to the car, They drove home in silence and when they got in she went straight to her.

Once she was inside her room she broke down, she fell to the ground as sobs wrecked her body, they were silent though, she didn't want her dad's to hear, she suffered alone.

She didn't come out for the next few days, didn't speak, didn't eat, and barely moved. Her dad's were becoming increasingly worried, Finn came round everyday and a few of the other glee club members called by, but still not a word left her mouth. A week had passed and Finn called round at the usual time, he hadn't been to school so it was kind of early, her dad's let him in and he climbed the stairs to her room.

He gently knocked the door and he walked in, this time was different though, she was sitting on her bed instead of lying in it, she had a tracksuit on instead or jammies and she was listening to her iPod, he smiled at her and she looked at him, really looked instead of just her usual glazed expression.

"Rachel" he said with a sigh

She looked at him and she cried, for the first he had seen her cry "I'm sorry" she said between sobs, Finn rushed to her and pulled her into his embrace.

"Shh" he said "It's ok, don't be sorry, Rachel I'm sorry" he said cradling her stroking her hair with his hand and the other supporting her tightly around her waist

"Why are you sorry?" she asked pulling away to look into his eyes.

"I should never have let that happen to you!" he said cursing himself for what that man did

"I don't blame you, Finn you tried everything to stop him, you couldn't do anything"

"I should have tried harder!" he said

She shook her head" You done enough, and I'll always be grateful for what you did, you were there your eyes showed you cared, you got me through it, You showed me how much you cared by trying to get up each time even though you knew the pain that was coming to you!" she said

"I'm sorry" he cried, this time she hugged him, her arms tightened around his neck as she buried her head into the crook of his neck and they both sobbed.


	3. Life Is A Mess

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"Rachel" he said pulling his head back to look at her, he sighed as his eyes connected with hers, he could feel her pain, it was clearly etched on her face, it wasn't right "Are you ok?" he asked, feeling dumb, he obviously knew the answer "I've been so worried, everyone has"

She sighed also, she opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. She looked down and then back up again "No" she said a tear falling down her face, making a tiny splash on the her bedspread "I just can't believe that this has all happened, my head is messed up and I feel so dirty and hurt, I didn't want to speak to anyone, because I didn't know what to say, I still don't Finn, but I feel ok about speaking to you now, I don't know why, well do because you were there, I just needed to speak to someone"

He nodded understanding exactly what she meant "What about going to counselling?" he asked overhearing her father's speak about sending her

She shook her head immediately "No! No, I can't go to counselling, I want to put this to the back of my mind and never think about it again, I just need a few more days or a week or so, and I will be ok, I know I can forget all about this and just get on with life, but everyone has to forget about it too, everyone else and never speak of it again, and never show me sympathy"

"Is that healthy?" Finn asked, he knew Rachel would want something like this, but he was unsure if he could go along with it, this had scared him just as much as it scared her, well she was probably feeling more, but Finn did feel something.

Rachel shrugged "I don't care, it's what I want Finn!" she said "Please just do what I ask"

Finn nodded, with a hint of reluctance "Sure" he said, more like a mumble though, Rachel could tell he didn't want to do this, but she knew he would, he would do anything to make her happy. "What are you going to do about school? Almost everyone knows"

"I can tell glee club to make sure that no speaks of it, or well my dad's can" she said "Or you" she looked at with almost a plead in her eyes, he nodded.

She smiled. "Thanks" she said, and that was the last they ever talked about what had happened, Finn told all of the glee club, and he got Mr Shue to make an announcement in an assembly, Rachel still hadn't returned to school, she still had a few bruises and she wanted them all the heal before she went back, the whole glee club continued to worry about her.

It was another 3 days later when Rachel walked through the school doors, she looked at the corridor where the incident happened and she automatically felt sick, she pushed the thought to the back of her head and entered the choir room, everyone looked at her, sympathy painted across their faces before the remembered and changed them to welcome "Hey, Rachel" Mr Shue said as she took her seat

"Hi Mr Shue" she said placing her bag on the floor beside her

It was hard for everyone not to stare at her, not to feel like they wanted to go and give her a hug and tell her that they were sorry, but it would just upset her, Finn had told them all the she wanted no one to speak of it, or acknowledge that any of it happened, to act like she was just of sick, but it was proving to be ever so difficult.

"Shall we begin?" Mr Shue asked and the glee club all nodded, Rachel nodded to, looking excited the get back into something she loved "Ok, Rachel we have a song that we think you will love" Mr Shue said handing her sheet music

She smiled as she looked at the sheet "Ready?" Mr Shue asked, she nodded and stood.

The piano began to play and she began to belt out the song

_**I have to wonder if this wave's too big to ride  
Commit or not commit in such a crazy tide  
It's sooner than I thought but you called me out  
I've lost control and there's no doubt  
I'm gonna start all over**_

Out of the fire and into the fire again  
You make me want to forget  
And start all over  
Here it comes straight out of my mind or worse  
Another chance to get burned  
And start all over  
I'm gonna start all over

Fantastic and romantic all a big surprise  
You've got the warning hesitation pushed aside  
It's sooner than i want but you caught my heart  
I guess I'm ready now to start  
I'm gonna start all over

Out of the fire and into the fire again  
You make me want to forget  
And start all over  
Here it comes straight out of my mind or worse  
Another chance to get burned  
And start all over  
I'm gonna start all over

It's so easy  
You disrupt me  
Can't complain

_**It's so easy  
You disrupt me  
Can't complain**_

_**It's so easy  
You disrupt me  
Can't complain**_

It's so easy  
I'm gonna start all over  


She smiled as the song finished and sat back in her seat, the whole classroom applauded, "That was really good Rachel" Mr Shue said "Great to have you back"

"Good to be back" she smiled looking around the classroom and all of her fellow gleeks. The bell rang which indicated the start of first period, everyone left and headed to their first class, Rachel walked down the hall her head held high, but it lowered as she looked at all of the other students, they looked at her like she was broken or something, she hated being looked at like this, and then she passed that spot again, the spot where her whole life changed forever, she couldn't take it anymore.

Her breathing became short as she rushed to the girls bathroom, she opened the door hoping no one was inside, she sighed a little when she found it empty, she opened a cubicle and slumped down onto the toilet seat and cried, she cried loudly, not caring if anyone heard her, but she was slightly relieved that everyone was at class, right now she wanted to be swallowed alive by something and not have to deal with this any longer. Rachel Berry's life was a mess.


	4. I Just Can't Handle This

**Thank you for the reveiws on the previous chapters.. Please if you read this, can you reveiw it? I can't make it better or keep writing if I don't have people reading it o letting me know what they think of it!  
Please, please, please reveiw! (I don't mean to sound annoying)  
I hope you enjoy this! LayX**

For the next two weeks this was her school life, she would go to glee and sing and act like she was perfectly fine, but when she left the classroom and was about to go to class panic took over her body, because it was only the first lesson, there was never anyone in the toilets so she could sit in there for a while and calm herself down before the beginning of second period, but sometimes she wouldn't even make it to that.

She was so scared to be in the school, she would never stay late anymore, glee was a struggle for her, but she knew that nothing bad would happen when she was with a crowd of people, so she was sort of calm when she was there, but all she wanted was to get out of the school, because for what she knew, staying behind was a terrible thing.

It had been almost two months since the incident happened, and she still wasn't the same, she barely talked to anyone, all she did was sing in glee, then it was time for her early morning panic attack, but this morning was different.

The bathroom door opened and someone entered, she tried her hardest to quickly stifle her sobs, but it wasn't quick enough "Hello? Are you ok?" A voice echoed on the small room, Rachel cringed a little

"Yeah, I'm fine, I'm just a little bit sick" She replied hoping her voice didn't sound to upset or frightened

"Rachel?" The voice asked,

"Yes" she said and then it hit her she recognised the voice, it was Quinn.

"Rachel, can you open the door?" Quinn asked, Rachel could tell she was worried, she had worked something out in her head, she sighed and unhooked the lock, allowing the door to swing open and reveal her tear stained face "Are you ok?" Quinn asked walking further into the cubicle

Rachel nodded

"You're not though, are you?" she asked looking at her; she could see the hurt and the fear in her eyes.

Rachel sighed once more and shook her head "No" she said in a whisper

"How long has this been going on?" Quinn asked, suspecting this wasn't the first time Rachel had had an attack like this

Rachel shrugged, "Since I came back to school, I haven't been to first period yet"

"Rachel" Quinn sighed, she placed her arm on her shoulder and guided her out of the cubicle, she handed her some toilet paper and she wiped her eyes "You should go and see someone about this"

"I don't want to talk about, It's at the back of my mind, and I never want to think of it again!" she said, with anger in her voice, she was frustrated clearly

"But being in here is thinking about it, this isn't healthy!" Quinn said back in the same tone of voice, her and Rachel weren't exactly best friends, but what she had gone through was awful and no one deserved that, Quinn felt so sorry for her, and right now, she was clearly worried.

"Can I ask you something?" Rachel looked at Quinn, Quinn nodded "Are you scared?" she said

"Scared?" Quinn asked, not quite understanding what Rachel meant.

Rachel looked at Quinn's baby bump "About having the baby?" she asked

Quinn though for a moment and then nodded "But I got myself into this mess, I have to clean it up. I'm scared but then again I'm excited, I might not be keeping the baby but it's exciting to bring a new life into the world, it was stupid of me, but I have to take responsibility I guess" she said placing a hand on her bump

"I always thought my first time would be special" Rachel sighed

"Sex isn't all it's cracked up to be" Quinn said, and then she bit her lip, of course Rachel knew this now, she was probably terrified of ever coming near to doing it again "Sorry" she said "You probably don't want to hear all of that"

"Its fine" she said "But I need to talk to someone" Rachel looked at Quinn, with a little bit of hope in her eyes

"Oh, I don't think I'm the right person for that" she said

"You are, I know we don't get along, but I like talking to you, and I think you will understand" Rachel said tears stinging her eyes

"Wouldn't you like to talk to someone who knows what they're doing?" Quinn asked

Rachel shook her head "I don't want some shrink to sit and tell me I'm broken and try and fix me, because I know that, but I'd rather do it myself. But I do need someone to talk to, someone who won't judge me" she said

Quinn nodded "I understand"

"Quinn, promise not to tell anyone? At least until I tell you it's ok? I really don't want anyone to know"

Quinn promised, she saw the fear in Rachel's eyes and took her hand she looked her in the eyes and waited for Rachel to speak, not wanting to push her.

Rachel took a deep breath and closed her eyes, she looked down to the floor for a second before refocusing on Quinn "I'm pregnant" she gasped out, tears quickly followed as she finally broke down "I don't know what to do, I just can't handle this Quinn!" she said tears overflowing from her eyes

Quinn just stared at her for a second, but then her heart broke and she too cried, she hugged Rachel as they both just sat and sobbed "Are you sure?" she asked when she finally managed to get the words out

Rachel nodded "I bought a test yesterday, I hadn't been able to before that, but I knew"

"We'll get through this!" Quinn said rubbing Rachel's arm as she looked into her hurt eyes, her eyes probably mirroring them.

**Please reveiw! Xx**


	5. I Need To Tell You Something

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Rachel and Quinn embraced each other for another ten minutes, but it felt like forever to them, they didn't speak or even look at each other for a while, just feeling comfortable the way they were.

"I don't know what to do" Rachel said looking at Quinn, her face filled with hurt

Quinn looked at her and thought for a moment "I don't know either" she said after a few moments "Have you told anyone else?" Quinn asked

Rachel shook her head sadly "I can't, If I tell people it will be real" she sobbed again, quietly this time, just some gentle sobs

"I know it hurts, but you have to accept it and come to terms with it, this is a terrible thing to happen Rach, but you need to let people in, your dads atleast" she said

"It will crush them!" Rachel said "I can tell this whole thing really upset them, they were so hurt that this happened to me, for me to tell them that I'm going to have a baby, I just don't know what they will do"

"They'll support you Rachel, they love you" Quinn told her "Look, you have my support and you have the glee club, you all came behind me, I know they will all be at you back, were a family Rachel, we will all come together and we will all be here for you!" Quinn said "And I can guarantee you that Finn will be with you the whole way through"

Rachel's sobs became louder again "I can't tell Finn, this will crush him. He blames himself for all of this and if he finds this out, it will kill him" she sobbed out "Why does this have to be happening?" she screamed

"Rachel, I have an appointment at the doctors, but I don't want to leave you, do you want to come with me?" Quinn kicked herself in her mind, of course Rachel didn't want to come to the baby clinic with her, she was bloody well upset enough, how stupid could you get Quinn? She asked herself "Sorry" she said after a minute

"It's ok, I can't go right now, but could you make me an appointment? I'll need to have a scan" she said sadly, Quinn nodded; she took Rachel's hand in hers and gently squeezed it

"I'll go with you, you'll be okay" she said, she walked to the door, she turned back around and looked at Rachel, she smiled before she left, leaving Rachel alone again.

Rachel gathered her thoughts and managed to calm herself down; she wiped away the tears stains and applied some make up to cover up her puffy eyes. She grabbed her bag and left the toilets, the bell rang and that signalled the start of the next class, students filled the corridor, Rachel put on a brave face and made her way to Spanish, this was her favourite class, she really understood Spanish and she loved Mr Shue. The only problem was, her seat was right next to Finn.

It wasn't that she wanted to ignore him, she wanted the opposite, since the day in her house when she first spoke after what happened, she hadn't really spoken to him, she knew he blamed himself and it killed her to think that, she didn't want to upset him more with any of her sadness. But she felt bad for ignoring him, what if he thought she blamed him too?

She was the first to the class and she took her seat, the rest of the students filed in, the last was Finn, he smiled at her as he took his seat "Hey" he said "I haven't seen you for ages, are you ok?" he asked her

She turned to face him and nodded, "Fine" she said quietly

"Em good" he said turning away from her, a few seconds later he turned back around "Have I done something? I'm sorry ok" he said, she knew exactly what he was apologising for and she hated herself, now more than ever

She shook her head "You haven't done anything, It's me" she said sadly

"Rachel, I really am sorry I should have done more" he said, hating himself for breaking the promise of never speaking about that night again

"It's not your fault" she shouted, tears streaming down her face now, "You have no need to apologise, please stop it!" she yelled again, she stood up from the chair and began to run from the classroom, everyone watched, Finn quickly got up from his seat, he shot Mr Shue a look and Mr Shue returned one that said he knew what was wrong and he excused Finn. He dashed into the corridor his head spinning each direction looking for where Rachel had gone.

He turned the corner into a different corridor and saw her sitting on the floor, her legs were curled into her and her arms wrapped around them, sniffles could be hear from her body. Finn's heart broke, he hated seeing her like this, he just wished he could take all of her pain away from her and put it all on himself "Rachel" he said slowly as he got closer to her

She looked up with her tear stained eyes and smiled a little bit at him, a hurt smile, "Sorry, I just wish you would stop blaming yourself, you're a hero in my eyes you know"

He slid down beside her and turned to face her, "Sorry, I said I wouldn't bring it up again, but it won't leave my mind, every night when I got to sleep I can't stop thinking about how I should have stopped him Rach"

"You couldn't have, you know that!" she said wiping at her eyes

"I know" he sighed "I know, it just kills me"

She nodded understandingly at him

"You're clearly not over it" he sighed "I wish you would talk to me about it, I can help you and you can help me, like therapy or something" he said, he was never the smartest of people.

"I need to tell you something" she said to him, he nodded and she continued "You have to promise me you won't freak out or beat yourself up anymore" he nodded again and promised her, she hoped he would stick to it. She took a deep breath before she opened her mouth, she found it difficult to say, but she finally got the words out "I'm pregnant"


	6. I'm Going To Have To Deal With It

**Thanks very much for the reviews! You guys are awesome! Please keep them coming! I wanna know what you really thinking of this! The more reviews I get the more I can write because I know what you guys will want!  
This had become the longest glee fic I have written, so there is still a few more chapter to come! Hope you will continue to enjoy it!  
Enjoy this chapter! **

"Pregnant?" Finn's face was a mask of horror and shock, he felt physically sick at the thought, tears pricked at his eyes, all he could do was look at her, that look she knew she would get, the pity look. The look that told her everyone in the world felt sorry for her "His?" was all Finn was able to say, Rachel understood completely, she nodded sadness in her eyes. Finn's head fell as he stared at the ground "Sorry" he choked out

She shook her head "There's nothing for you to be sorry about, It's just a terrible thing that happened, and I'm going to have to deal with it" she said

"What are you going to do? Have you thought about your options?" He asked her lifting his head back up to look into her eyes, they were filled with so much emotion, it pained him to see it.

She nodded "I've thought of everything, but the baby will be a part of me too, I'm already about 3 months, I couldn't get an abortion, I wouldn't feel right doing it, My head is a mess right now, I don't know what to do" she said tears spilling from her eyes once more

He took a deep breath and gathered his thought, how could this happen, Rachel was so amazing, she was so beautiful and truthful and she was just a really great person, she didn't deserve any of this to happen to her, and to this day Finn still blamed himself, this just made everything so much more hurtful "Rachel" he said placing a hand on top of hers "I'll be here for you, anything you need please just ask" he looked into her eyes that hurt was still there and he hated it so much.

"I'm not really good with words, but I want you to know that I will never leave you and that you can come to me with anything, you have a family in glee club, you can talk to anyone of us, I'm sure every single person in there will be happy to help, and there's always Quinn" he said thinking to what Quinn was going through "I mean it's not the same as you, but she's still going through pregnancy and I'm sure she can talk to you"

"Thank you" she choked out "Finn your always so nice to me, when everyone hated me you always seen the good in me and that means a lot, I don't know what I'm going to do, I talked to Quinn" she said tears still streaming her face, her eyes still filled with hurt "She found me in the toilets and I told her, she's at the doctors and she's going to make me and appointment" she sighed, a sigh filled with sadness "I don't know what I'm going to do!" she sobbed

Finn put his arms around her "Come on" he said soothingly looking her straight in the eyes his arms still wrapped around her "You're so strong Rachel, you can get through this I know you can! You're so amazing Rachel, just stay strong ok?" he said smiling a little, but the hurt was still evident on his face, it pained him to see her upset, and this was a whole other level from just upset "Do your dad's know?"

She shook her head "I can't tell them, this has put them through so much, there always so careful around me and they treat me different like I'm broken, I know there worried and stuff, but this would probably kill them, they're so upset that the man hasn't been caught yet, and for this to happen would make them even more angry" she said tears flowing violently down her face "I know I have to tell them, but I just can't find the words"

Finn nodded "I know it will be hard, but you're going to start showing soon" he said

"I already am a tiny bit, I'm a small person so it makes it seem bigger" she pulled up her shirt and Finn looked down and she was right, it was still small but you could still see it, he put his hand on it and sighed, he rubbed her stomach gently as she sobbed

"I can go with if you want, to tell them? And I can go to the doctors and stuff with you, I'll give you all the support you need Rachel!" he said

She smiled at him, "Thank you, I would really like that, but I want Quinn to come to the doctors too" he nodded, she could tell it touched a nerve in him, but he pretended it didn't bother him "Finn, I really want to thank you for always being there for me, you don't know how much it means" she smiled, "We better go, class is going to be out soon, and we will look strange just sitting here"

He smiled at her and stood to his feet, he reached down his hand to her and she took it, he helped her to her feet and walked her to the choir, the glee club would be there soon, they entered and took a seat near the back, they just sat in silence, their hands still intertwined. No words were needed, each one of them had already said all they needed to say to each other, each on knew what the other was thinking and each of them was just happy sitting there in their own little world.

The bell rang and the students could be heard in the corridor, Mr Shue walked into the choir room "You two are early" he smiled at them and they smiled back, he began to set up the sheets on the piano, he didn't notice the look they shared or the way Finn squeezed Rachel's hand when he knew she was feeling scared, he didn't notice a single tear fall down Rachel's eye. But he did notice the way Finn was looking at her, the love in his eyes.

And so did the rest of the glee club when they entered the room, but no one said anything about it.


	7. Little Girl

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When Rachel got home he phone began to ring, she looked at it on her dresser and crossed the room, it was Quinn "Hello" she answered, politely and sweetly, to anyone beside's Quinn she would just seem normal, but Quinn knew that she was feeling so much hurt right now

"Hi, how are you?" Quinn asked

Rachel blinked back tears, every time someone asked her this, she just felt like crying, because that's how she was, she was a mess, she felt awful, she wasn't herself, she could do her usual routine because she just had so much pain in her right now, she just wanted the world to swallow her up and she just wanted to not feel anything anymore "Ok" she said, this was lie and Quinn knew it, and Rachel knew that Quinn knew it, but Quinn never said anything

"I made you an appointment, it's for tomorrow at 1" she said and she could tell that Rachel's heart just sank, because tomorrow at 1 this would all become even more real than it already was "Is that ok?" Quinn asked

Rachel took a silent breath, trying to get words to form in her mouth "Uh huh" she said, it was the only thing that she could string together "Finn is coming" she said, and then added "I want you there too"

Quinn smiled "Ok" she said, "And Rachel?" she asked "I'm here if you ever need anything, anytime just call" she didn't wait for her to answer, she knew she was upset right now, she knew she was trying not to cry and she knew that she wouldn't have been able to speak. "I'll let you go" Quinn said "Bye" her voice stopped and Rachel closed her phone and set it back down on her dresser, she moved back over to her bed and lay down and cried, she fell asleep like that, she cried herself to sleep, for what wasn't the first, second, third, fourth or even the fifth time that week, it became a routine, it seemed to be the only way she could sleep.

It was the morning when her alarm went off, she hit the snooze button and the tears came again, and once more Rachel cried herself to sleep, when her dad's didn't hear her up they decided to check on her, they opened the door and saw her lying on her bed curled into a ball, her eyes evident with tears and they decided to just leave her there, to let her have the day off, because what use was she in school when she was in such a state that all she could do was cry. They shared a look when the left the room, but they didn't say anything, they both knew how much of a mess there little girls life was, how much pain she was in, they just wished that she would let them in, they could tell that when they were around that she put on an act, that a shield came up and she tried to show them that she was fine, but she was really crumbling inside.

It was 11 o'clock when she awoke, she looked at her clock and thought it best that she got up, she jumped in the shower, but it wasn't long before she had to jump out and throw up, this happened almost every day, the articles she read on pregnancy said it would pass, she wished it would pass soon, her dad's would hear and they would become suspicious, and Rachel wanted to tell them, not for them to find out, she wanted it to come from her lips, not their minds.

She made her way down stairs and saw that the house was empty, both her dad's were at work, she sighed, she didn't have to pretend like everything was okay today, she pattered into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of milk, she sat down on the sofa and began to drink it.

She looked down at her stomach and she felt sick, There was a life in there that she would be responsible for, a life that came from something so horrible, but it wasn't his or hers fault, the baby was innocent in all of this, she placed her hand on the tiny forming bump and smiled, for the first time in a long time it was a genuine smile, She never wanted to be a parent so young, she always wanted to be married and have a good career and she wanted to have children when she was ready, but it looked like it wasn't going to happen like that, it a few months (about 6 to be exact) she would be bringing a baby into the world, what she would do with that baby she didn't know yet, but she did know adoption was high up on her list, because she really didn't think she could look after a baby, and would she want to? She could give the baby to people who would really love it and take good care of it, probably a couple who couldn't have children of their own.

Her phoned buzzed, it was Quinn to say she was on her way to pick her up for her appointment, her stomach churned and her eyes stung with tears, but she held them back telling herself she had to be strong if not for her for the innocent party in all of this, the baby growing inside of her.

A car horn honked outside a few minutes later, Rachel gathered her things an opened the door, it was Finn, Quinn stepped out of the car and up the Rachel she walked back to the car with her and opened the door, Rachel and Quinn both climbed into the front of Finn's truck, Quinn's hand was locked with Rachel's the whole journey and none of them said a word.

They pulled up outside of the clinic and entered, Quinn went to the reception while Finn and Rachel took a seat in the waiting area "It's going to be okay" Finn said, he seen the fear in Rachel's eyes, she looked at him and nodded, not finding words to say. "Do you want me to wait out here when you go in?" he asked her

She shook her head "I want you both in there, please" she said and Rachel nodded "Of course" he said, Quinn joined them a few minutes later, she once again took Rachel's hand as they all sat nervously waiting.

They only waited about 5 minutes before her name was called, Rachel looked at each of them and they each gave her a nod and a small encouraging smile. She stood up and both of them joined her at her side, they walked slowly to the room, the doctor introduced himself and he noticed Quinn, he was also her doctor to, she smiled at him, he directed Rachel to the bed and both Quinn and Finn were just behind her, she pulled up her top and the doctor began the ultrasound.

"Al healthy here" he said with a smile, "Your about 13 weeks and the heartbeat is great" he said looking at her, he was confused with the tears in her eyes, she looked so upset and scared that he didn't quite know what to say, he chose to say nothing. Both Finn and Quinn held onto one of Rachel's hands and they both looked at her face, just in case anything happened "Do you want to know the sex?" The doctor asked

She looked at Quinn who nodded at her "Whatever you want Rachel" she then looked to Finn who smiled at her reassuringly

She nodded at the doctor who smiled back at her "You're having a healthy little girl" Rachel broke into tears at this, Finn stood up and embraced her in a hug, his arms wrapped around her small body and a tear escaped his eyes, seeing her like this made him want to do anything he could for her, but there was nothing he could do, nothing he could do would make this situation any better, and he didn't like that at all.

Quinn shared a look with the doctor, which told him pretty much everything and stopped him from asked any more questions. "Well Rachel were done here, just make sure you book another appointment for a few weeks so that we can check up on you" Rachel looked at Quinn who nodded, she knew exactly what she meant, Quinn excused herself and made for the reception to book another appointment for Rachel, she managed to book one on the same day as her next one, her final one before she would be going into labour, it really hurt her to think of all the pain she felt when she found out she was pregnant, she could never imagine what Rachel was going through, all she knew was that she would do everything and anything to try and help her.


	8. I'll Be There

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Finn dropped Quinn off at Puck's first, She gave Rachel a supportive hug before she got out of the car, she watched them as Finn drove off and a tear fell down her cheek, right now she admired Rachel for being so strong, she really felt all the sympathy in the world for her, she would hate to feel what she felt right now.

"Finn?" Rachel said "Would you come in with me? I want to tell my parents"

"Of course" Finn said nodding, he pulled up at Rachel's house, he jumped out of the car and moved to her side and opened to door, he helped her from the car and held her hand while they entered the house

"Hello Princess" Leroy one of her dad's said, she smiled at him and they both mad their way to the sofa to sit down, one they were seated Rachel looked at Finn, he squeezed her hand in response and she breathed in.

"I need to tell you something" she said quietly, "It's not going to be easy to say, but I need to tell you" she said tears once again escaping her eyes and tiny gentle sobs began until she stopped them.

Her dad's shared a looked "Ok" Leroy said and he nodded at her

"I'm" she said a sob breaking out "I'm pregnant, daddy I'm pregnant and I don't know what to do" she cried

"Are you sure" Leroy asked, pain in his voice as he watched his daughters heart break in front of him. She nodded and handed him the scan she got at the doctors, he looked at it and felt a tear fall down his face "Don't worry, We'll be here for you sweetie" Both of her dads crossed the room and put their arms around her, not knowing what else to do beside comfort their little girl

"Thank you" she whispered burying her face in her dad's chest

They sat that way for about half an hour before Rachel felt she was ready to get up, she walked into the kitchen and got herself a glass of water.

Finn sat awkwardly into the living room, not wanting to say anything, he didn't feel it was his place to talk; he was only there because Rachel needed him.

"Thanks for being there for Rachel, the whole way through everything" one her dad's said and smiled at him.

He returned the smile "It's the least I can do, I really care about her and she really needs her friends around her right now. She has me and the entire glee club" he smiled

"Do they know?" he asked, referring to her pregnancy, Finn shook his head and the dad's nodded "Does anyone else know?" her dad asked

"Just Quinn and me" he said "She was too frightened to tell anyone else, If Quinn hadn't of found her I don't know if she would have told anyone yet, she was terrified of everything"

"We want her to go to see a counsellor, but I just know she will refuse" her dad said sadly "She has to much pride, but it could help, we hear her crying every night and it's just not healthy, she's trying to bury it when she should be talking about it" he said and Finn nodded "I don't know what to do about her"

"I'll talk to her, I can't promise anything I suggested it before, but she told me she wanted to forget all about it and never speak or think about it again, but with the baby now she'll have to" he sighed, it will be constantly in her life for the next 6 months or so, and when she decided what she is doing it will still be there, even if it is just signs on her body" he sighed

"Do you know what she has decided about the baby?"

Finn shook his head "I know she's think about adoption but, I don't know if she could keep it, it would cause her too much pain, how could she look after her knowing where she came from? What she came from?"

"Her?" Leroy asked

Finn nodded "It's a girl" A tear fell down both of her dad's cheeks, they looked at one another a small sad smile on their face

Rachel joined them back in the living room "I heard what you said" she told them, looking sadly at the ground "And I agree, I need to see a counsellor, this isn't healthy at all, it will be putting stress on the baby and this is none of her fault, She deserves the be happy in there" Rachel said smiling at her dad's

They nodded "We'll phone and make you an appointment, but I don't want you to feel pressured into the baby!" they told her

She shook her head "I want to, for everyone's sake" she said "I'm a mess and it's not fair on everyone around me, and it's not fair on me either, I'm torturing myself"

They all nodded and smiled, Finn took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, he smiled at her, the loving smile she loved that made her hear jump slightly, she returned the smile and his heart melted, it was the first time that smile had been on her face in months, the smile that Finn knew was her way of telling him how much she cared for him, and how much she appreciated him, Finn loved that smile.

"And I want to tell everyone, they're going to find out soon anyway, And I want it to come from me, no one else. When I go to school tomorrow I will sit them all down and tell them" she said

"Don't go rushing into things Rach" her dads said, but she shook her head and told them it was what she wanted and they agreed.

The next morning she woke up before her alarm, the first time she had done this in a long time, she smiled at the thought of her mind feeling clear and she got out of bed and into the shower. Instead of feeling dirty and trying to scrub her body of all the hurt and anger in it she enjoyed the warm spray of the water.

Finn picked her outside her house at exactly the time she told him too, she smiled at him when she got into the car and as he drove off she kissed his cheek "What was that for?" he asked but a smile was playing on his face

"Everything" she smiled "And I'm sorry about everything, I know you feel you are to blame, but I believe in fate and this is what was meant to happen, It will be hard but this will make me a stronger person"

Finn nodded "Are you sure you want to do this today?" he asked her

She nodded "They need to know, and like you said they will all support me, and to have their support they need to know what is happening in my life. It isn't right to keep them out, were a family Finn" she smiled, he smiled at her and the rest of the ride to school was silent.

The bell rung and the glee kids poured into the choir room, Rachel and Finn were already there, all the glee members smiled at her, the sympathetic smile, but she brushed it off and gave them a genuine one back.

When Mr Shue arrived Rachel announced that she had something to say, she walked to the front of the class and looked at each member, Finn joined her and took her hand in his.

She cleared her throat and breathed a long breath before she began, "As you all know I have been going through a few things within the last few months, it hasn't been easy" tears pricked at her eyes but she did all she could to blink them back, she was so nervous, but she didn't show it, her eyes locked with Quinn's the one member who already knew what she was going to say "I have something I need to tell you" she continued

"You're not leaving are you?" Kurt gasped

"No" she said a little giggle in her voice

"Good, We can't survive without you Rach" he said and the other members nodded and agreed.

Her eyes pricked even harder with tears and one was released, she wiped it away and continued "Thank you" she said her voice cracking a little "I won't be leaving, but I may need a little bit of leave" she said, she took another breath before she said it, those two words "I'm pregnant"

Everyone one of the glee club's members eyes widened in shock, Mr Shue's included, each one of the gasped silently and each one of them felt complete sympathy towards Rachel, by now tears were silently falling down her cheeks, she wiped the quickly away, but her eyes were full of them.

"Were so sorry" Rachel Tina said, everyone nodded in agreement, Quinn stood up and hugged her, "I told you they would all be here for you" she whispered to her, she squeezed her tightly before she returned to her seat, her hand on her own stomach as she looked at Puck and he smiled at her.

Mr Shue stood up and walked toward her, the hurt was clear in his eyes, he didn't say anything he just hugged Rachel, a tear fell down his cheek as he thought of how much pain she would be in right now, no one deserved this, especially not Rachel Berry.

"Mr Shue, I have a song I'd like us to sing" Finn said lifting sheet music from his bag, he looked at the glee club and they all nodded, he handed out the words skipping Rachel, he set her on a seat while the rest of the glee club moved beside Finn. He handed a sheet to the musicians and the music began to play.

Finn did most of the song, but the glee club backed him up the whole way through.

_**You and I must make a pact**__**  
**__**We must bring salvation back**__**  
**__**Where there is love**__**  
**__**I'll be there**__**  
**__**I'll reach out my hand to you**__**  
**__**I'll have faith in all you do**__**  
**__**Just call my name**__**  
**__**And I'll be there**___

_**I'll be there to comfort you**__**  
**__**Build my world of dreams around you**__**  
**__**I'm so glad I found you yeah**__**  
**__**I'll be there with a love so strong**__**  
**__**I'll be your strength**__**  
**__**You know I'll keep holding on**___

_**Let me fill your heart with joy and laughter**__**  
**__**Togetherness, well it's all I'm after**__**  
**__**Just call my name and**__**  
**__**I'll be there**__**  
**__**I'll be there to protect you**__**  
**__**With an unselfish love that respects you**__**  
**__**Just call my name**__**  
**__**And I'll be there**___

_**Chorus:**__**  
**__**I'll be there to comfort you**__**  
**__**Build my world of dreams around you**__**  
**__**You know I'm so glad that I found you**__**  
**__**I'll be there with a love so strong**__**  
**__**I'll be your strength**__**  
**__**You know I'll keep holding on**___

_**See, if you should ever find someone new**__**  
**__**I know she better be good to you**__**  
**__**'Cause if she doesn't then**__**  
**__**I'll be there**___

_**Don't you know baby yeah yeah**__**  
**__**I'll be there**__**  
**__**I'll be there**__**  
**__**Just call my name and**__**  
**__**I'll be there**___

_**I'll be there, baby**__**  
**__**You know I'll be there**__**  
**__**Just call my name and**__**  
**__**I'll be there**__**  
**__**Just look over your shoulder**__**  
**__**Just call my name and**__**  
**__**I'll be there**_

Rachel's face was soaked with tears and she watched each of her friends sing to her, each of them had a message in their eyes and she could tell that each one of them right now had put aside their feeling for her and they all just showed her love and care. And right now that is what she needed.


	9. I'll Wait Forever

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"Thank you" She cried "That really means a lot, thank you" she said again tears still pouring down her face creating a puddle on the ground.

Each glee member huddled around Rachel, each one of them out their arms around her and hugged her, a few of them told her how much they felt for her right now and how much they were thing about her, a few of them told her that they would always be there for her. And a select few told her how much they loved her.

They moved away from her now, only Finn and Quinn still stood beside her, "I'm proud of you Rach" Finn said smiling at her and using his thumb to wipe the tears from her cheeks "You're being so brave, I know how much you are going through right now, and I just want you to know you don't have to do any of it alone!" he said

She nodded at him, a nod to say thank you, because right now she couldn't say any words, she rested her head on his chest and cried some more. He decided school wasn't the right place for her now; he went to see principal Figgins who told him that he could take her home, and that she could have as long as she wanted.

Finn told Rachel and she agreed, which is not what Finn was expecting. He expected her to say that he was fine and that she wanted to get on with things, but she didn't instead she just followed him to his car and put up no fight. He took her to her house and when they pulled up, she asked him to come in with her, she said that her dad's wouldn't be there and she didn't want to be alone.

He agreed straight away and he walked her into the house. She was right both of her dad's where not there, the house was empty. She walked up the stairs towards her room and Finn followed. She sat down on her bed and started sobbing gently; Finn took her in his arms and held her until she stopped.

"I'm such a mess" she said

"Rachel its ok, you've gone through so much, it's expected right now" he said to her rubbing her arm soothingly

She shook her head "I know it is, but I just don't want to be I have all these things running through my head, I have decisions to be made and I just can't stop thinking about him, he's still out there free to do this to anyone else!" she said

Finn nodded "I know, but they will catch him Rach. I promise and he'll be locked up where he belongs!"

"I wish that day would come sooner, When I know he's behind bars and he can never do that to anyone else, that's when I'll feel safe, that's when I'll be able to go on with my life, until that day I'm always going to feel this way, and I hate it!"

"I know, but just know that they will find him Rach, just think of the police always looking out for him, you'll be going to counselling, that will help"

"Thank you for always being here for me Finn, your amazing" she said smiling at him, but not a smile that Finn liked that sad hurt smile was back.

"I always will be" he said "And Rachel whatever you decide to do with he baby, I'll be there for you, I'll help you every step of the way" he said

She sighed and then looked to her feet, she played with her fingers, something Finn noticed she done when she was nervous, "What if I wanted to keep it? What would you think of me? What would you think of me being a mom?" she asked

He thought for a second "I think you would make a great mom" he said seriously and truthfully

"I don't know if I could give her up, She's a part of me and the way my mom gave me up, I don't know if I could do that, what if one day I find her when she's all grown up and I regret my decision, what if I give her away and then I regret that, I can't just take her back, it wouldn't be fair on me to give her away, to let someone take her from her mother" she said, "I know what she came from, and she will always be a reminder of that, but it's not her fault, why should I punish my baby for something that she couldn't control?"

"You shouldn't, Rachel I can't tell you what to do. But I can tell you that I will be here for whatever you decide, and I know that Quinn and the glee club will be there too and your dad's will be there for you, You have a huge circle of support and that will never go away, whatever you decide everyone will respect it"

She nodded, knowing that everything he said was the truth, that it was exactly what he was thinking and that he meant every word.

"I love you" she told him and his breathe stopped for a second "I mean I really love you Finn, I always have, but I'm not ready for anything to happen between us yet, But I don't want to lead you on anymore, I want you to know what I feel, and I truly love you and I think you are my one Finn" she smiled

He nodded "Rachel, you know I love you. And I would wait forever for you" he smiled at her and took her hand "I've said this so many times, but I will always be here for you."

Rachel smiled inside, she felt so safe when she was with Finn, even the night it happened she felt safe because Finn was there with her, never once did she blame him even though she knew he blamed himself for everything, but that night she watched him fight for her and every time he got kicked to the ground he looked at her and he tried to get up, right then was the moment that she realised he was the guy for her, like that time Mr Shue told her that there was someone out there for her that would truly love her for who she is, Finn was that guy. He would fight for her until the end, until he couldn't fight anymore, and she just knew that one day she would be happy with him, but until that day the nightmare's where still in her life.


	10. We Love Her Deep Down

She awoke for school the next day, Finn was still there he was still holding her she smiled and moved away from him, still not waking him, she tiptoed to the bathroom to get ready.  
When she came back he was awake, he looked at her the loving look she loved to see, but now she just saw it as a look, just a look on Finn's face, her body wouldn't allow her to feel anything right now and it really upset her.

"Morning" he said standing up and stretching "Are you sure you want to go into school today?" She nodded and he didn't say anything else, he just nodded and agreed with her.

"I'll have to leave early to go to counselling, I'll miss glee" she said, but she didn't seem like she would 'miss' it just miss the class, it wasn't the same Rachel Berry who would never miss a rehearsal and time to show off her talents, Finn hated this Rachel.

He nodded "Do you need a lift?"

She shook her head "My dad's are taking me, they really want to be there" she said and he nodded in agreement "Don't you need to get ready?" he asked her, noticing he was still wearing the clothes from the night before

He shrugged "I'll be fine" he said

She nodded and went to her wardrobe lifting out a pair of jeans and a black tank top, he sighed as he looked at all the other clothes she had, but yet she chose these, nothing like she ever used to wear, just the plain clothes that helped her blend in, the old Rachel would never want to just blend in.

She returned to the bathroom and got ready, she tied her hair back and washed her face with her clear skin face cream, she may be depressed but she loved having fresh skin, it made her feel good about herself, even though she felt horrible.

She returned from the bathroom and not a ready at Finn, he stood up and they walked down stairs together, Hiram and Leroy were sitting on the sofa watching the morning news, both Finn and Rachel knew they wanted to see if any rapist had been found if the man who did that to their princess was in jail, but they would have known, they just watched it just in case they weren't informed, they both knew that her father's just wanted to know who did this, to get payback on the animal who hurt Rachel.

"Bye Dad, daddy" Rachel said giving each of them a kiss on the cheek.

"Bye love" Leroy said "Don't forget your appointment, we'll meet you outside the school at three" he added

Rachel nodded "I'll be there" she said

"Love you" Both Hiram and Leroy said as she left the house. They both looked at each other, knowing that she was still hurting and there was nothing they could do about it, they shrugged sadly and returned to watch the TV.

Rachel got through the day without having to go to the bathroom and cry, she got through the day without being terrified to walk down that corridor, but she didn't get through the day without thinking about that night, how could she? She felt the baby kick today for the first time, tears sprung to her eyes but she pushed them back, Puck noticed her hand go to her stomach during her maths lesson, he sat next to her and he knew what it was, When Quinn's baby kicked the look on her face was the same except she had less hurt in her expression, he didn't say anything, but he noticed, and when she looked at him he smiled at her.

She asked Principal Figgins permission to leave school early and he granted her it, so that is what she did, her dads met her and exactly the time they said they would and she jumped into the car and drove off with them, she was nervous and she felt sick, she felt like crying or running away but she did neither, she just sat there with her dads, she knew she had to do this.

When her name got called she pushed herself up from the seat and looked at her dad's, she cautiously walked to the room and she opened the door and walked inside, her heart was beating and her palms were sweaty as she sat down on the sofa placed in the middle of the room.

Finn walked into the choir room, most of the other were there, he took a seat as they waited for everyone to arrive. Mr Shue walked in and set down the papers he was carrying, "Afternoon" he smiled at them all "No Rachel?" he asked and looked towards Finn

Finn shook his head and he stood up "She's at counselling" he looked at everyone as their eyes filled with sadness and remorse for Rachel "I want to thank you all" he said and they all looked at him

"For what?" Brittany asked,

He smiled and then sighed "For being there for her yesterday, she's going through a lot and I know how much she's hurting right now and for you guys to be there for her yesterday and to show her that, I could tell it meant a lot to her, so thanks"

"Do you think we would do any different?" Puck asked sounding a little upset that Finn would think otherwise "Look, we may not all like her and we may sometimes think that she is irritating and stuff, but she's part of glee and we're all here for each other through whatever we go through, and if she's hurting were going to show her that she has someone to talk to in each of us if she needs us, and that we will be there with her each step of the way" everyone looked at him strangely, it seemed weird that he would say all that, he was such a badass, or he liked to pretend he was, underneath her was a caring person, and as much as he hated to admit it, he cared for Rachel.

"Rachel may steal my spotlight and get on my nerves a lot, but no deserves to go through what she did, she's amazing for still being in one piece, I know I would have crumbled"

"She's not still in one piece, she puts on a brave face, but underneath everything she's broken" Finn said sadly

"Is there anything we can do for her?" Tina asked

Everyone thought "All we can do is show her how much we love her, we can let her do whatever she wants, if she's not up to singing we can take over and do her part, if she doesn't want to come to glee, we can just ignore it and not ask her what's wrong, and we can keep the school out of her business, she's going to start showing soon and the whole school will know, we can help keep the gossip down, she doesn't deserve everyone's stares or anything" Quinn said and everyone nodded in agreement

"I hate seeing Berry like that" Santanna said "I miss not being able to make fun of her, because I know I seemed like I hated her, but we had an understanding, I really kind of liked her, and now I respect and like her even more" everyone gave her a strange look to, it was strange they were all opening up their feelings, all the grief they gave Rachel was just an act? Each one of them really loved her. She had all the support she needed right there.


	11. Gleeless Rachel

Glee practice was short, after all of their speeches about showing how much they cared about Rachel were over there wasn't much time to practice, they did one song, a song that didn't involve Rachel and no matter how many of the Rachel-less songs they did, it still seemed weird not to have her there.

Puck found it weird when she wasn't criticising his performance faces, when he wasn't being told to smile or put some effort in, or to put more enthusiasm into his dancing, because right then he looked like he didn't even want to be there. And he missed telling her that he wanted to look like that, to looked like he didn't have to put effort in to be that good, and then have her look at him strangely as if she didn't agree.

Santanna and Brittany missed being able to bitch about her wardrobe choices and her hair, when she wasn't there it was harder to find someone to make fun off, and they just didn't feel right.

Kurt and Mercedes missed having there solo's stolen from them and they missed having to fight for what they got and having to earn the songs they got, they missed Rachel, they missed the diva off and it sucked to be the only diva's in glee, it was much more fun with competition.

Artie and Tina missed Rachel's voice, they were good singers but they weren't the strongest the group had, and when Rachel was there she could carry anyone, and now they had to work harder to project there voice, because Rachel couldn't just cover for them.

Mike and Matt missed her compliments, she was usually the only one to tell them how good their dancing was, and she always watched them so amused at how good they were, she always give them a chance to shine in her solo's, calling them to the front to show off what they got.

Quinn missed having her silent friend there, they went through a lot but they always had a silent love and respect for one another, and over the last few months it had gotten a whole lot stronger, and since Rachel came to Quinn there bond was pretty much unbreakable, they started off enemies and they hated one another but now, they were best friends who loved one another, and Quinn missed her, she never thought she would say that, but she missed the old Rachel.

And then there was Finn, he missed his partner, his co captain, he missed his best friend. Glee without Rachel was just not right, over the last few months when she hadn't really been there it was so strange it was like it was glee club in an alternate universe or something, it was sad and it wasn't fun. He had to sing the songs that they usually sung together with someone else, Sometimes it was Quinn, or sometimes it was Santanna or Tina, but every time it wasn't Rachel and it wasn't the same.

* * *

When glee was over Finn rushed out and jumped in his car rushing to get to Rachel's house, he knocked on the door and Hiram answered "She's in her room Finn" he said smiling at him and opening the door wider so that he could come in.

Instead of going straight up to her he walked to the living room where her other father was "How is she?" he asked Leroy,

"She's okay actually, I don't think it was as scary as she thought it would be" he answered Finn

"There were no tears on the way home" Hiram said joining Leroy on the couch.

Finn nodded "Is it okay if I go up?" Finn asked

Both fathers nodded "Of course" they said together, Finn nodded and smiled. He made his way to the stairs and quickly walked up them, he stopped outside her room and knocked lightly before opening the door.

She was sitting on her bed writing into a book, she set it down when she saw him, she looked up and smiled "Hi" she said, "How was glee?" she asked him.

He moved across the room and sat down on the bottom of her bed, He shrugged "Not the same without you" he said

"I'm sure it's fine" she told him and he shook his head

"It's not really, I've really missed you, I know you have been there but your mind hasn't, you barely sing any solo's and when you do it's like you don't even care, it's just not you Rach" he sighed "I mean I know it's been hard these past few months, don't think I'm trying to make you feel bad!" he said realising that it sound like he was trying to have a go at her for not being there.

She nodded "I know, I just haven't felt like singing, singing is something I always did when I was happy and right now I'm too far from happy to even try, it's like someone has pulled all of the joy from my body and I just can't push anything out of me, I can't push myself to sing a song with my heart in it, because right now it feels like my heart is nonexistent" she sighed

"It's ok" he said "because whenever you do sing with your heart in it, it will mean that your back to yourself and when that day come we'll all be so happy to see you back Rach" he smiled at her "How was it today?"

She looked at him thinking for a moment "I was really scared, because I didn't want to go in and bring everything up again, because it would be like reliving it, but it was okay, the lady made me talk about what I wanted to talk about and to start of slow, she said I didn't have to tell her anything I didn't want to" Rachel moved her finger around her legs, almost like she was drawing on something "But i was okay once I got into it, I told her everything and she looked so sorry for me, but that looked went away and she told all these things that could help, and I even felt a little better when I was talking to her, she told me that none of it was my fault and he was the person to blame and that blocking out my emotion towards the event wasn't good and that I should embrace what happened, she told me to start a diary and write down everything I feel, that's what I was doing when you came in, but so far I have today's date" she sighed

"That's good Rachel, your making progress at least, and you'll find the word to write don't worry, they will just come to you!"

"She told me that talking to friends was good too, but I'm not ready yet" she said and Finn knew by friends she meant him, he nodded and nod that told her it was okay and that he would be there when she was ready.

"She said that the baby and the check up and stuff would make me feel sad everytime, but it would get better and I would see a positive side to things, she said I will have good days and bad, that my moods will change, whether that was the pregnancy or me that she was talking about I'm not sure, but I know she was right."

Finn nodded again "So you're going to keep going?" she nodded "Good, I'm sure your dad's will be pleased"

"Did we get any homework today?" she asked

He shook his head "None in the last few classes, I just got some for Physics, but you aren't in my class for that" he told her and smiled "I can't stay long because my mum will kill me if I don't do it"

"That's fine, I'm going to have an early night anyway, and get ready for tomorrow" she smiled, he nodded and stood up, he kissed her forehead and left her room, letting himself out of the house not before shouting to her dads that he was leaving.

Rachel stayed on her bed staring at the diary in front of her, she picked it up and began writing.

_Thursday July 1__st__._

_It was my first day of counselling today, and she told me to start this so here I go. A few months ago I was raped in my school, I stayed behind with Finn to help him with glee stuff and these men were there, I watched him suffer every time he tried to help me, and then I had to go through that man touching me and raping me, it was the worst day of my life. My life is scared now because of it, it's like it broke my heart because I can't seem to think of anything else, I just feel like crying all the time. _

_That man is still out there and I will not be able to sleep right or stop thinking about how he could be doing that to others, I won't be able to stop until he is caught and I am safe from him. I can't talk to anyone about it because it's too painful. I'm hoping this counselling works, because the sooner I start to feel happy in myself again the better, I hate feeling miserable, I don't want to do anything, I used to love singing and glee club but now it's so hard to enjoy it because I have no heart to put in it._

_And to make matter worse I'm pregnant because of the evil man, but the baby inside me is innocent, she didn't do anything. It would be wrong to punish her for something that happened to me, I still haven't decided what I'm going to do, How could I raise a baby? Right now I can barely look after myself, but then again I have my dad's and I have Finn, I know they will always be there for me._

_Which brings me to Finn, I feel terrible, I feel as if I'm shutting him out, he is doing all he can do to make me feel better but sometimes I just feel worse, because this is something I need to do for myself, I love Finn but right now I just need to be alone with my thoughts, before this I would have given anything for Finn to be so concerned about me, because I was in love with him, he told me he loved me and I should have jumped at the chance, but now my heart won't let me, maybe one day I can be happy with Finn, I hope I can anyway._

_Rachel._

She closed the book and climbed under her covers and drifted off to sleep, sleep which would probably be filled with nightmares.


	12. Positivity

It had been a week since her last counselling session and she had done everything her counsellor had asked her to do, her diary had been written in regularly with all her feelings, she had opened up to her fathers and she had began to think positively.

She was still extremely upset though, it wasn't like the counselling was some sort of miracle, she still felt as if her heat was broken and unfixable, she still felt miserable, but she was getting better and she knew she would be able to get passed this, and knowing that made her able to get on with her life and hope that she would be her old self again soon.

It was time for her next counselling session, her dad's picked her up outside the school again and drove her there, she entered the room where she met with her counselling.

"Hi Rachel, how are you?" her counsellor asked her

Rachel shrugged a little "Okay, I guess" she said

Her counsellor nodded "Okay and how has this week been?" She asked her

Rachel thought for a minute before she answered her "Ok, I had a few times where I didn't feel up to doing anything but I pushed through it, I haven't been crying as much either"

The counsellor nodded "And the diary, did you bring it?" Rachel nodded and handed it to her "Do you mind if I look?" Rachel shook her head and the counsellor opened the diary.

_Friday 2__nd__ July_

_The baby kicked again today, it's so hard to feel it because it makes it real that there is a baby inside of me, and it makes it real as to where the baby came from, I can't stop thinking about the father of her, my little girl and her beast of a father, what will I do if I decide to keep her and she asks about her dad? Tell her I was raped by some monster and that was her dad? How could I do that?_

_Sometimes I wish she wasn't in there at all, because things would be even simpler I would be able to get over this quicker without the constant reminder of the pain, but is she a pain? I don't think so because when I do think off her I think of her as my daughter, not that monsters I think of her with love, but then he pops into my head and I feel like crying, I feel like crying because of my baby girl, what sort of mother will I be?_

_I never thought I would be pregnant so young, but I never thought I would ever be raped either, I guess it's something I'm going to have to grow into, and I'll have to grow up pretty fast._

She closed the book again and thought "Are you having trouble with the pregnancy Rachel?" she asked her

Rachel nodded "Not with pregnancy, just thinking about the father of my baby, I mean it's not fair on her for me to say I hate her and she is devil spawn or anything, but I just can't help myself crying when I think of where she came from" a tear fell down her cheek and hit the floor, she wiped her cheek and then her eyes adamant not to cry.

"Well what I suggest is that you embrace the pregnancy, not think of it as a bad thing and not think of the father, just think of her as your baby, I deal with a lot of young girls that have went through the same thing you have, and one girl told me that she imagined the father to be Justin Timberlake because she had a huge crush on him and that's who she would have loved to have a baby with, he was her child ideal father" she laughed "It helps to look at baby clothes and get yourself excited without thinking of the father, Looking at names helps too, I know you may not keep her, but name picking always gets the mother excited"

Rachel nodded

"Just try and wipe your memory clean of the father of your child, not of the rape though I still want you to talk through that and stuff, but just think of that little girl as your baby and no one else's"

"Okay" she said weakly

"What else have you been felling this week? How are the nightmares?" she asked her

"Still there" Rachel sighed "I just keep seeing him come after me, and other girls like me, I see the police chasing him and then he grins at me when he gets away"

The counsellor nodded and wrote that down in Rachel's file.

"Okay, well Rachel I'm not going to lie to you, this is only your second session, you aren't going to feel better soon, but you will in a while it takes time but soon you'll be free off nightmares and fear, just keep going with the diary and the positive thinking, and try those baby techniques okay?" Rachel nodded "I'll see you next week then?"

"Bye Lynn" Rachel said, she stood her feet and shook Lynn's hand; she left the room and joined her father's back out in the waiting area.

"Are you finished?" they asked thinking it wasn't too long. Rachel nodded "Home then?" She nodded once more.

They made their way out of the centre and into the car; her father started the engine and began the drive home. "How was it today?" Hiram asked

"Okay, she looked at my diary and asked me a few questions and stuff, not too much"

They nodded "And did it help?"

Rachel nodded "She told me to start looking at baby clothes and to pick out names, because sometimes it helps to bond with the baby and to stop thinking of her as something that came from something horrible and to think of her as my baby something that is wonderful" she said

Both her dad's smiled "If you ever need to talk to us, were always there you know" Leroy told her looking at het through the mirror.

"I know daddy, I'll always come to you if I need you" she smiled into the mirror and they both smiled back "I love you"

"We love you to princess"


	13. You Are Not Alone

From then on when I felt my baby kick I smiled instead of feeling like I wanted to throw up, I thought of her as my pretty little princess and not a child that belonged to an animal, She was no longer his she was just mine, my little girl. I wrote about her in my diary and tried to think of names, but I was never good at that stuff. So I decided to leave that bit for the moment. I went to bed early that night and for once my night was not full off the horrible nightmare that was in my thoughts every single night since it happened, No I dreamt of that first but then it changed, I was dreaming of pushing my little girl on a swing in the back garden, I dreamed of her smiling at me. It was a dream I hoped to have again.

I woke the next morning to the sound of the alarm and I got out of bed easier than all the other mornings, I got in the shower and was refreshed by the spray of the water, I decided to get dresses, properly instead of all the hideous choices I had been wearing these past few months, it was getting harder to find clothes that weren't tight now, but I managed and took a mental note to go shopping.

I chose a black skirt with a pick tank top and a pair of black flats, it wasn't as colourful and stylish as my outfits used to be, but it was the first skirt I had worn since then. I felt good about it, the top showed off my bump too, I was ready to show off my little girl to the world, no matter how I felt about that I was ready.

I was just about to leave when the door knocked, I answered and it was Finn, he smiled at me and I found it in myself to smile back, I know he's doing all he can for me, but I wish he would stop fussing over me constantly, it was getting irritating. "I thought you could use a lift" he said and I smiled, accepting his offer.

"Sure, I'll see you later" I said to my dad's and they smiled at me before I closed the door and slimed into Finn's car resting my hand almost instinctively on my baby bump when I got in.

"How are you?" he asked me

"I'm fine" I said and I seen him frown a little "I really am Finn, I just down want people making a fuss off me, I want to get through this without everyone constantly asking how I am, because the truth is if I wanted to you to know I would tell you" I couldn't help but say this, it was as if my mouth wouldn't let it stay inside, I felt like a criminal when his face dropped slightly, I could tell I upset him. "I'm sorry" I said "It's just I've been in a really bad place these past few months and sometimes I feel like I need people, but when those times come I will let you know, I love that you are looking out for me, but I don't need it all the time, but thanks" I said

He smiled a little "I know I've went overboard trying to be by your side every minute, but I just want to know your okay, I just want to protect you" he looked at me, and I knew he was still blaming himself and this is where all off this had come from, that made me more angry, because I hated him blaming himself, tears came to my eyes as I saw the hurt in his.

I shook my head "How many times do I have to tell you this isn't your fault Finn? I can see you beating yourself up and what's that going to do? All you're doing id causing me more pain, because I see you like this and for what? I'm fine Finn I'm getting over this slowly, but I am getting there, please just stop blaming yourself" I really feel hatred for him now, not for Finn but for his mind blaming him on what happened

"Sorry" he sighed, "I will try, and I'll leave you alone!" he said and I frowned, I didn't want him to stop all contact!

"No, Finn I don't want you to leave me alone!" I laugh a little and his stupidity "I just want you to back off a little" I emphasise the 'little' so he doesn't get even more confused "I just want you to stop asking me if I'm ok, and I want you to start treating me like you did before, I may be hurting and stuff, but that's for me to sort and if I want you to help I'll ask you, don't stop talking to me or anything, that would hurt more" I smile and he nods "Thank you"

"I'm sorry, I promise we'll go back to the way it was, does this mean you'll sing with me again?" he asks, and I can see the hope beaming through his eyes, I nod and his smile turns to a grin

He parked the car in the lot and we both get out, we walk to the school and Finn tells me of all the songs he had in mind and I just smile and nod at each of them, we walk towards the choir room and I see Quinn on the way, I tell Finn I'll be right in and thankfully he just agrees.

"Hey" I say when I approach her, she smiles clearly happy to see me smiling.

"Hey yourself" she says "Are you coming to glee?" she asks, I nod and she smiles and links my arm "Good" she says

"How's the baby?" I ask looking at her large bump

"She's fine, how yours?" she asks with a little laugh, I know it because we're both in the same situation, both going to be mom's in a matter of months, but I know the laugh is to hide her hurt for me, the laugh is there in case I take it the wrong way and burst into tears.

"She's good" I say and smile at Quinn, rubbing my hand on her bump "Maybe they could be Bff's?" I laugh, but Quinn's face falls into a frown, I can tell she's thinking that she won't be there to be my baby's Bff because Quinn won't be keeping her, I'm not sure what I'm doing but at this moment I know what Quinn is.

"Maybe" she sighs "But who knows if she will know your little one"

"Sorry" I say "I should have thought" I feel horrible, because I made Quinn fell like this, I didn't mean to upset her, it just came out.

"It's ok, I still haven't made up my mind 100%" she says "But I am 99" she sighs again as we walk into the choir room and everyone looks at me, first just a look of pity, but then their faces show me a smile and I return it.

"Are we ready?" Mr Shue asks, handing out sheet music to us all.

"We're ready" I accept the music a take a look before standing up as the music begins.

Finn begins and I join in one the second verse, I know that this song is for me, but as I'm singing I'm looking at Quinn, Because right now I want to be there for her, I know exactly what she is going through, and I want her to know she will always have me to talk to, and I feel that she will always be there for me too.

I see Finn singing, and he is looking straight at me, then I look around and so is everyone else, I feel happy straight away and my voice breaks out and it tops everyone's the first time I have felt so confident in my voice since that day, the first time I have really sung anything since then and it feels great.

_**Another day has gone**____**  
**__**I'm still all alone**____**  
**__**How could this be**____**  
**__**You're not here with me**____**  
**__**You never said goodbye**____**  
**__**Someone tell me why**____**  
**__**Did you have to go**____**  
**__**And leave my world so cold**____****_

_**Everyday I sit and ask myself**____**  
**__**How did love slip away**____**  
**__**Something whispers in my ear and says**____**  
**__**That you are not alone**____**  
**__**For I am here with you**____**  
**__**Though you're far away**____**  
**__**I am here to stay**____****_

_**You are not alone**____**  
**__**I am here with you**____**  
**__**Though we're far apart**____**  
**__**You're always in my heart**____**  
**__**You are not alone**____****_

_**All alone**____**  
**__**Why, oh**____****_

_**Just the other night**____**  
**__**I thought I heard you cry**____**  
**__**Asking me to come**____**  
**__**And hold you in my arms**____**  
**__**I can hear your prayers**____**  
**__**Your burdens I will bear**____**  
**__**But first I need your hand**____**  
**__**So forever can begin**____****_

_**Everyday I sit and ask myself**____**  
**__**How did love slip away**____**  
**__**Then something whispers in my ear and says**____**  
**__**That you are not alone**____**  
**__**For I am here with you**____**  
**__**Though you're far away**____**  
**__**I am here to stay**____**  
**__**For you are not alone**____**  
**__**I am here with you**____**  
**__**Though we're far apart**____**  
**__**You're always in my heart**____**  
**__**And you are not alone**____****_

_**Whisper three words and I'll come runnin'**____**  
**__**And girl you know that I'll be there**____**  
**__**I'll be there**____****_

_**You are not alone**____**  
**__**I am here with you**____**  
**__**Though you're far away**____**  
**__**I am here to stay**____**  
**__**You are not alone**____**  
**__**I am here with you**____**  
**__**Though we're far apart**____**  
**__**You're always in my heart**____****_

_**You are not alone**____**  
**__**For I am here with you**____**  
**__**Though you're far away**____**  
**__**I am here to stay**____**  
**__**For you are not alone**____**  
**__**For I am here with you**____**  
**__**Though we're far apart**____**  
**__**You're always in my heart**____****_

_**For you are not alone**_

I smile as the song finishes and I hug Quinn, she returns the hug and I feel completely happy, no sign of hurt or pain in me.

"We missed that Rach" Mr Shue smiles.


	14. I'll Miss You

**That you all for you reviews! There is still another few chapters to go! I hope you aren't getting bored with this! **** Please keep reviewing and letting me know what you guys think! I want as many reviews as possible! I never get that many, but I am happy with the ones I get!  
Just remember if you read please review! Even if it's only like 2 words! Please do it! Enjoy! Layx**

_Dear Diary_

_I really feel like I am becoming my old self again, every now and then the memories of that night come flooding back, but last week in glee when we sung together for the first time since then, I felt so happy. Every time my baby kicks I just picture that dream of me pushing her in the swing and everything in me tells me that, that will come true because she will be my daughter. That no matter what I'm feeling that in the end I will keep her, I change my mind so many times, one day I say that she will be better off with some else, someone who can care for her better than I can, someone who isn't a mess, but I'm already getting back to myself, what if when she does come that all the hurt is gone from me?_

_I can't help feel that my life is clicking back together one piece at a time, Finn has backed off slightly and I enjoy his company more again, he doesn't ask how I'm feeling so much anymore so I'm happy to tell him. I've become so close to Quinn, she's honestly like a sister, I talk to her about anything and everything and I like to think she feels the same about me._

_I've thought of a few names for my little girl, and I've discovered I like quite unusual names, Quinn laughed at a few of the suggestions I came up with, but some of hers were just as bad! I'm going to write them all down and then sort of cross a few out when I think I don't like them anymore and hopefully by the time she's here I'll be left with one._

_Here is goes: Bella, Maria, Indigo, Jasmina, Tessa, Katrina, Crystal, Savannah, Jessika, Rose, Lydia, Felicia, Ruby, Charlotte, Sophia, Harmony, Tara, Layla, and Summer... So maybe they aren't that unusual, but they are the names I like, so who knows one of those could be my little girls names._

_Now it's time to head out to the movies with Quinn, the first time I'm actually going out to something that isn't school or counselling!_

_Rachel x_

She closed the book and turned on the TV opening her bedside table and choosing a DVD to watch, she put the DVD in and pulled up the covers and lay on her bed watching the movie. It hadn't been on long when he phoned buzzed indicating she had a message, she huffed slightly and picked it up, it was from Brittany, she thought for a moment, Brittany never texted her. She opened the message and read it **'Parents are out of town, glee party at mine, drinks and nibble! ****' **she closed the message.

She thought for a bit, getting out for a social event might be good for her, but what kind of party did Brittany mean? She couldn't handle one of the cheerio parties that she had heard about from other, of course Rachel was never invited to a cheerio party.

Her phoned buzzed again this time it was from Quinn **'Brittany's? I need a non drinking buddy'** Rachel smiled at made up her mind that she would go, she replied back to Quinn and to Brittany letting both of them know she would be there, she decided that she would drive, of course she had to ask her dad's first, but she thought they would be cool with her getting out of the house for a bit, and she wasn't wrong.

She asked Quinn if she needed a lift, but she said no that Puck was taking her, it would be silly to go with Rachel when she was already at Puck's house. So she said she would meet her at Brittany's house. Rachel arrived and felt a bit nervous, she had never been to a party arranged by anyone from school, she was never cool enough t be invited anywhere, and she wondered how much fun it would be, because if everyone was drinking it wouldn't be that much fun, Rachel hated drunk people!

She knocked on the door and Brittany answered, she pulled Rachel into a hug with a smile on her face "Here, I made you a mocktail!" she said taking her to the kitchen and handing her a drink.

"Thanks" Rachel smiled, feeling a little strange, it was still weird to get on so well with Brittany, she was popular and Rachel, well she was far from being popular. "Your house is lovely" Rachel said and Brittany smiled moving her to the living room where a few of the others were.

"Hey girl" Mercedes smiled waving her hand at Rachel and indicating for her to come and sit beside her, Rachel obeyed and moved across the room to where Mercedes was sitting with Kurt "Looking good" Kurt said looking Rachel up and down, she had chosen to wear a skirt again, a pink on this time with a white top and white shoes, she smiled thanking him

"Do you know who else is coming?" Rachel asked the others

"Tina and Artie are on their way, Santanna is up the stairs, I'm not sure what she's doing, but she hasn't came down in ages. I think Britt said Mike and Matt are coming and I'm not sure who else" Mercedes told her and Rachel nodded

"Quinn and Puck are coming too" she said and both Kurt and Mercedes smiled

"It's going to be a fun night!" Kurt said and Mercedes agreed with him.

An hour or so later and everyone had arrived, everyone apart from Finn, Rachel had asked Brittany if he was coming, she said she texted him but he never replied. Rachel was a little upset that he wasn't there, Finn needed a night out just as much as she did, she knew that ever since everything had happened that he had cut himself off slightly, When she was around he acted as normal as possible, but she knew that when she wasn't there that he was distant and she hated that thought. She thought for a moment? Had he been out since it happened? No one had said off him being with them, was he just going to school and coming home? He used to go to Rachel's, but she told him to back off and he hadn't been back since.

'Oh no' she thought, he was still blaming himself; he was secluding himself because he was down! She excused herself and went outside, she lifted out her phone and searched through her contacts until she came to his name, she dialled and he answered straight away "Hey" she said casually

"Hi" he replied, in a tone of voice that suggested he was little confused, probably to why Rachel was calling

"How come you aren't at Brittany's?" she asked

"Just had to help mum with a few things" he said "Did you go?" he asked a little bit of shock in his voice

"Yeah, I thought it would be good for me, to get out and stuff" she told him

"Yeah, I'm sure it is" he said

"You should come round!" she said "We're doing Karaoke later, it should be really fun" she made her voice go a little higher at the end, "Everyone's here" she told him, maybe if he knew he was the only one missing he would want to come

He paused for a second and she knew he was thing, whether he was thinking about coming or thinking up and excuse she didn't really know "Em" he said, it was clear he was still in thought about it "I don't really think I'm up for it, I'm a little tired" he said and she sighed

"I'll miss you" Maybe that would work, maybe he would come if he knew that she would miss him. Nope, he giggled a little but not a genuine giggle, a giggle that said he didn't know what to say.

"Sorry" was all he came up with "I'm just a little busy, next time" he said

"Ok, see you at school on Monday then?" she asked

"Sure, see you!" he said before they said goodbye and ended the call, she put her phone back into her pocket and felt her stomach go a little funny. She placed her hand on it before a pain shot through her. It was just a shooting pain, but it soon got worse, she doubled over and reached for her phone, she tried to yell but her voice wouldn't let her.

She pushed the call button and it went through to Finn again. This time he didn't answer and she cursed him, soon enough a scream came from her mouth and she sighed inside a little and hope that they would hear it inside. The door opened and Puck looked down at her rushing to her side "Rachel" he said "Quinn" he yelled into the house.

He perched Rachel on his knee while he knelt over her checking her pulse, it was racing and she was barely conscious, he was aware she knew that he was there but she could say anything to her.

Quinn came rushing outside followed by the rest of the glee club, they all looked at Rachel and gasped, Quinn moved to her other side and gasped loudly "She's bleeding!" she yelled, "We need to get her to the hospital"

Puck lifted her and put her in the back seat of his car, Quinn climbed in beside her and rubbed her head, she tried to keep her conscious as they drove to the hospital, but she was drifting in and out they rushed her inside "She's bleeding" Quinn said the reception at A&E "She's 4 months pregnant and she's coming in and out of consciousness"

The reception nodded and took note "Take her into room 3" she told them and they nodded rushing her into the room, they were met by a doctor who asked them what had happened, the moved Rachel to the bed where the doctor examined her, Puck and Quinn were asked to wait outside, they obliged and closed the door behind them as they left.

A tear left Quinn's eye as she looked at Puck "I hope she's okay" she said a few more tears following the last one.

Puck nodded and pulled Quinn into a hug.


	15. Can We Be A Couple?

**Thank you all so much for the reviews... please keep them coming... please review if you read! I hope your still enjoying this! **

"I'm going to go get a drink" Quinn said, she stood up and walked down the corridor. They had been waiting for almost 2 hours and they had heard nothing, Puck knew that Quinn was upset, that she desperately wanted to know how Rachel was, but no one was telling them anything.

Puck watched her walk down the corridor and his heart broke a little, he knew that she was frightened Rachel would lose her baby; she knew that when she thought of what was happening to Rachel that all she could think about was the life inside of her. She was carrying his child, but she never let him into her life, she lived with him, but that was it and the only reason she did live with him was because he parents through her out. He wanted to be a bigger part of her life, her and the baby; even though she had told him that she wasn't keeping it. Maybe that's why she wouldn't let him in, because she was afraid of getting attached to the idea of having a family.

He thoughts were cut short when the door of room 3 opened and a doctor came out, he stood up and looked at the doctor "How is she?" he asked out of pure concern for Rachel

"She's stable, we stopped the bleeding and the baby is healthy, she will just need to rest for a bit, she's waking up now if you want to go and see her" Puck nodded and entered the room, he figured Quinn would find him, if not he would go and get her, he wanted some on to be there when Rachel woke up.

Rachel moaned a little and squirmed in the bed, her eyes opened and then shut again slowly, before they shot open and she sat up quickly, pressing a hand to her stomach as tears flooded her face "The baby" she yelled, Puck crossed the room quickly putting a hand on her shoulder "She's okay, they stopped the bleeding, your both fine" he said and she relaxed a little.

"She's still there?" she asked, holding her hand to her stomach and rubbing it in gentle circles, Puck nodded and Rachel sighed a little and sunk back into the bed.

"You need to rest up for a few days" he told her and she nodded, she breathed out and then in again "Quinn just went to get a drink, I better go find her" he said and Rachel nodded "We'll be back in a second" he said and she watched him as he exited the room

She looked at her phone; she had a missed call from her dad. She thought for a moment, they probably wouldn't have phoned them, because they would have been up like a shot if they did, they were probably too panicked to think of that. She had a message from Finn too, asking why she called again, she ignored it.

Quinn came rushing into the room and pulled Rachel into a tight hug "You had me really worried" she said not letting her go "How are you, are you feeling ok? Do you need anything?" questions left Quinn's lips at a mighty speed; she stopped herself before she freaked Rachel out

She laughed a little laugh and smiled at Quinn "I'm okay yeah, I'm just glad that the baby is ok" she said tears were still in her eyes "Did you phone my dad's?" she asked and Quinn and Puck looked at each other

"Sorry" Quinn said "I didn't think, we were just worried about you, any others thoughts couldn't enter my mind"

"It's okay, it's probably better that you didn't they would have been worried sick, at least when they find out they will know they everything is fine and won't have to worry too much" she said thinking about what she said and it did make sense, even though she sounded like she was babbling.

"Do you want us to phone them now?" Quinn asked, but Rachel shook her head

"They've been so worried about me lately, I don't want to give them anything else to worry about, do you know when I can get out of here?" she asked "Maybe they don't have to know"

"I'll go talk to the doc" Puck said leaving the room, he found the doctor and talked to him for a bit, about hoe Rachel should react to this, and if it was important that her father's knows, he asked how much rest she should get and if that involved doing nothing. The doctor told him that she just needed to get more sleep and not get too stressed, but her normal school routine should be fine. He said she should be able to be released tonight; they just wanted to make sure they she was 100% before they let her go.

He walked back down the corridor to Rachel's room, he looked into the window and saw that Quinn was crying and holding her own stomach, a tear fell down his cheek as he thought about his daughter that was growing inside of her, and as he thought about the fact, he would probably never see her. It broke his heart a little.

He gave them a minute before he opened the door and entered the room, he opened the door slowly giving Quinn time to compose herself, because he knew that she wouldn't want him to see her like that. "Doc says that you can go home tonight, he just needs to make sure that you're okay before you go. He said that you need to sleep more and not get stressed, but going to school and doing your normal routine should be fine"

She smiled "Thanks Puck" she said and he nodded and told her it was no problem "No, really" she said "Thank you guys so much, Quinn if it wasn't for you, I don't know where I would be right now. And Puck if you hadn't have found me, I might have been worse right now, my baby might not be here, so Thank you Noah" she said

"No worries Berry" he smirked.

* * *

A few hours had passed when the doctor finally come to tell Rachel she could go "You need to take these Rachel, they will help your blood flow and they won't harm your baby, it will keep your pregnancy healthy" he said and handed her a packet of tablets "Take one every morning at the same time if possible" She nodded at him "Then your free to go, I just need you to sign a release form and then you can be on your way" she smiled and nodded, she signed the form that was placed in front of her and she got herself of the bed and left the room, followed by Quinn and Puck.

They drove back to Brittany's where Rachel's car was, "I'll drive you home and then Puck can follow and pick me up" Quinn said, she didn't want her to have to drive home, never mind driving home alone, Rachel agreed.

They got to Brittany's and everyone gathered outside "Are you okay?" Tina asked being the first to come over to where Rachel had just stepped out of the car.

Rachel nodded "I'm fine, it was just a scare, they stopped the bleeding and the baby is healthy, I just have to get more rest and don't get stresses and stuff" Everyone nodded and when Rachel was getting into her car, everyone gave her a hug. She smiled at them all and climbed into the passenger seat of her car and Quinn drove her home, Puck followed them the whole way they and when they got to Rachel's house, Quinn parked the car and got into Pucks, waving at Rachel as she entered the house and Puck drove off.

* * *

"You were scared" Puck said

Quinn nodded "Rachel's a good friend"

Puck shook his head "You were scared about your baby, our baby" he corrected "I saw you crying when I left"

"okay,, I was scared, but I just didn't want anything to happen to her, you seen how close Rachel came to losing her, I'm scared something will happen to her" she said tears falling down her cheek again "I may not be keeping her, but she's still my little girl, what if something happened because I'm not keeping her, because I'm giving her away like she's garbage?"

"Quinn" he shushed her "You're not doing anything wrong, you know what you want, you're doing what's best for her"

"What about, what's best for me? For us? I've been treating you like a criminal, not letting you come to the doctors with me, not letting you into her life, I'm sorry" she said

"Don't sweat it" he said

"No, I want to sweat it Puck, it's not fair, you've tried to be there for me so many times and I'm pushed you away, looking at what Rachel went through I'm lucky to have you as the father of my baby, and I really am sorry for everything, will you be there when she's born?" she asked him, and watched as a tear fell down his cheek and he nodded "It's only 5 weeks to go" she said

"Are you scared?" he asked

She nodded "Terrified, I don't know if I can do it"

"Of course you can" he smiled at her, she looked at him for the first time in a long time, she looked deep into his eyes and she kissed him, just kiss at first, but it grew with passion, he pulled back and smiled for a second "Are you sure you want this?" he asked

She grinned and nodded "I know I do" she said and crashed her lips to his again, her arms found his neck and she hung onto him, while his arms wrapped around her waist. "Can we be a couple?" she asked pulling away from him to look into his eyes to watch as he answered.

He breathed in and nodded "If you want to be?" he smiled and kissed her again, little did she know that inside he was jumping around like a little boy, the smile on his face didn't say half of what he was feeling, this is what he had always wanted, to be with Quinn, and to be happy.


	16. Names

**Thanks for the comments! Please keep commenting! **** I hope your still enjoying this and it's not getting boring! I still have a few more chapters to go! It's the longest Fic I've ever written! Lol **

Rachel rested the entire weekend, she told her dad's that she was just feeling worn out and they told her to just stay in bed and don't do anything she didn't feel up to. She was glad that she didn't tell them, because the amount of worrying they were doing when she said she was worn out was enough, she couldn't imagine the worry they would have if they knew she was in hospital bleeding and it was possible that she could have lost the baby.

She spent the weekend listening to music and watching movies, just relaxing completely for school on Monday, she had wrote in her diary quite a bit and she had taken off a few names and she had gotten closer to her perfect baby name.

_Dear Diary._

_I had an eventful night on Friday, it was so scary and made me realise how much I actually love my baby, I came so close to losing her, and I don't know what I would be felling right now if I did, I don't think I could be feeling anything but sadness, And I'm trying my best to get the sadness out of my life.  
I really can't lose her, it would honestly kill me. I've made myself love her and see her not for where she came from but for what she was, my little girl. I'm just so relieved and happy right now that she's still inside me, healthy and safe._

_I know it hurt Quinn to see that happen to me, because all she could think about was her little girl and how much she didn't want that to happen, and then she started saying that she was a bad person for not wanting to keep her, but it's her choice and if she thinks that giving her baby away will give her a better life then Quinn is such an amazing person to do that, she is being unselfish and only thinking of the baby, and I admire her for that._

_I still haven't decided what to do yet, but whatever I do it will be the best for my little girl and for me. I just want to make sure she can have the best life possible and if that means that someone else will bring her up, so be it. _

_I haven't spoken to Finn since I phoned him, I can't help but feel he is being selfish by pushing himself away from everyone, I know he wants to be there for me, and maybe I am pushing him away but he can be there without being with me constantly, I just want everything back to the way it was, when life was simple, when there was me and the glee club and everything was just perfect, I was getting close to Finn and I almost had everything I wanted in the world, but I can't go back to those days now, I just have to look to the future, maybe I will have Finn one day._

_Baby names: Bella, Maria, Indigo, Jasmina, Tessa, Katrina, Crystal, Savannah, Jessika, ,Felicia, Ruby, Charlotte, , Harmony, Tara, and Summer. It's hard to choose some to take out, I pretty much like all of those names, I want my baby to have a beautiful name, and I want her to have a middle name that means something, but I'm not sure about that yet._

_Rach x_

She closed the diary and switched on her iPod, laying back on the bed and listening to the music in her ears. Not hearing her phone ringing 3 times before he gave up.

She fell asleep with the music still playing in her ears, she didn't feel or hear him entering her room, or sitting on the chair watching her sleep as he cried. He hated himself, ever since that night that he watched Rachel get raped by that man, he had hated himself ever since, he had tried to be there for Rachel, but when she wouldn't let him, he felt even worse.

When she woke up, she jumped when she seen him "Finn" she shouted her hand on her heart "What are you doing here?" she asked him

He shrugged "Sorry I didn't answer the other night, but I guess it wasn't important because you didn't phone back or text me back" he said not quite looking at her

"I was in the hospital" she sighed, not quite looking at him either

"What?" he gasped "What for?" he moved closer to her perching himself on the end of the bed "Is everything ok, with the baby?"

She nodded "I passed out at Brittany's, just when I got off the phone with you, I was alone that's why I called you, but Puck found me and took me to hospital" she said still not really looking at him, she couldn't help but feel angry at him, she didn't know if it was for not answering or just not being around.

"What was wrong?" he asked

"I was bleeding, but it was okay, nothing serious. They stopped it and just gave me tablets to take, they said it was normal in pregnancies and nothing to worry about, it happened a lot."

He nodded "Sorry" he said

"For what?" she asked wanting to know what he thought he should be sorry for

"Everything" he said "I've been distancing myself from you, you said you needed space and stuff, but I didn't know what you meant, how much I should back off"

"I didn't want you to stop all contact. Look Finn I'm sorry if I've been treating you badly, it's just you were there that night and you remind me of it, but it's not a bad thing, you remind me of when you fought for me, but it's sad too because I had to watch you get hurt and I hated that" she said looking at him now "Before this all happened I was in love with you, and I was ready to have a relationship with you, you weren't ready for one with me, after everything you went through, but now I'm not ready and you are, we have to come to some sort of agreement, because I don't want you to not be in my life, that would pretty much suck"

He nodded "I know, and I'm sorry. I've been keeping myself locked up in my room because I feel miserable, I thought that you didn't want me in your life, I just didn't understand what you needed, but now I do, you need your friends and I'll be here for whatever you need me for" he smiled, he kissed her fore head and she smiled at him and hugged him tightly.

"Thank you" she said "By the way how long have you been here?" she giggled slightly, but then her face was straight as she awaited Finn's answer.

"Em, your dad's let me in about an hour ago, I didn't want to wake you so I just waited" he said turning a little shy.

"So you watched me sleep? That's not stalkerish or anything" she laughed


	17. We'll Have A Family Some Day

A few weeks had passed and Rachel's bump had gotten quite large, she was now 5 months pregnat, her counselling sessions had continued ans she continued to do everything that Lynn suggested she do, she was getting back to her fromer self. That night still haunted her, but she was getting over it and she felt good about her self.

She and Finn had become sloce again and he no longer blamed himself for what happened to her, he couldn't with the amount of therapy and talks Rachel had given him about it, he was fine with having her as a friend and he agreed to be there for her always.

Glee club was back to it's old self because Rachel was there and she was giving it her everything now, she was able to sing her heart out and not feel like she was cheating herself or anything, everyone loved having glee with Rachel.

Quinn had Puck had become and couple and Quinn only had a week and a half of pregnancy to go, she still hadn't decided what she was going to do, but she did seem sure about giving her up, but then again she wasn't 100%. Puck said that he would stand by her what ever she chose and he would let her make the decision because it was her life after alll, he would be a part of it of course, but he just wanted her to be happy.

Everything seemed to be looking up and Rache loved that.

"Hey" she said walking into the choir room and smile on her face, she sat down beside Finn and talked with him until Mr Shue came in and everyone was quiet and listened to him.

"Mornings guys" he smiled at them and set the things he was carrying down on the piano. "Well I know regionals isn't for a few months, but I think we need to be prepared and start practising, we can do a load of songs and just take note at the ones were good at? What are you guys thinking?"

"Gaga" Kurt said "We have to, that task went so well" Mr Shue nodded and took a note on a piece of paper

"What about something cool, like rock?" Puck asked "Nickelback! Now that's a band"

"Ok Puck, I'll keep them in mind" Mr Shue said in a voice that suggested he wouldn't think about it again, Everyoen giggled a little

"Oh" Quinn said

"Quinn, do you have something to add?" Mr Shue asked,

"My waters just broke" Quinn said her eyes wide "Or I just wet myself"

Everyone rushed to Quinn's side and surrounded her, Puck looked at her his eyes wide and his mouth open "What do I do?" he asked turning to the rest of the group

"Ow" Quinn said holidng her stomach "Nothing yet" she said "The contractions are barely here, we have to wait until there only a few minutes apart" Puck nodded

"But what do we do while we wait?" he asked "Should I go get you something to eat or drink or?" he asked, he was sligtly panicked and Quinn found it strangelt entertaining.

"Maybe you should go up to the hospital and like wait outside of soemthing, because it can come really quick sometimes, you'd be better be safe" Tina said and the club all nodded and agreed

"I'll go get the car, can someone bring Quinn outside" Puck sad dashing out of the room.

Kurt took hold of Quinn waist and Rachel took the other side "Can you walk ok?" Kurt asked, Quinn nodded and he let go and let Rachel take her out. They got outside and Puck already was there in the car.

He hopped out and helped Quinn climb in "I want Rachel there too" She said and took hold of Rachel's hand, Rachel smiled with a tear in her eye, she looked at the other before she climbed into the back seat of the car and Puck took off.

"Do you think it will be too early to go up?" she asked before she let out a scream as a contraction came to her, she gasped as the pain stopped "Sorry" she added

"It's better being safe" Rachel said "i mean if we waited, you might not make it in" she was interupted by Quinn's screaming again "And judging by that, you won't have to wait long, are you okay?" she asked

Quin panted a little before answering her "God it hurts, you have all this to look forward to" she glanced back at Rachel and saw a look crooss her face, and he face go pale for a bit before she laughed and said "Oh god I know"

Rachel got out fo the car and went to grab a wheelchair while Puck parked, Rahcel came running over a few minutes later pushing a wheelcahir in front of her, she helped Quinn climb in and let Puck take over the steering, From the car to the hospital Quinn let out a huge scream as a contraction that lasted a good 3 minutes tore through her body "God this hurts" she yelled, they pushed her through the door and rushed her to the reception

"My girlfriend having her baby" Puck spat out, Quinn smiled alittle a the word 'girlfriend' but then another contraction came to her and she screamed again

"Take her through there" The receptionist said when she heard the scream erupt from Quinn, she pointed to a room just over from where they were and Puck wasted no time in getting her into it, the receptionist follwoed them with some paperwork and she took Quinn's details before giving them to the doctor as she left.

"How many weeks are you?" The doctor asked Quinn as he helped her onto bed along with Puck

"38" she gasped out

"Ok, well it looks liek your baby will be here soom, we need to get you prepped for the delivery room" he said and left, two nurses came in and prepped Quina nd both Puck and Rachel.

Quinn was in labour for half an hour so, it was frightening for Puck to watch, and hear as she yelled at him and said she would kill him for doing that to her. But for Rachel it was a lot worse, she watched Quinn in so much pain and almost fainted as she thought of her having to go through that soon.

Half an hour later the room was filled with a baby crying and each one of them had a huge smile on their face, Quinn looked down at the baby in her arms and couldn't help but feel proud of herself, "She's beautiful" Rachel smiled stroking her finger on the little girls cheek

Quinn smiled down at the baby in her amrs before looking up at Puck "Do you want to hold her?" she asked him and he smiled even wiser, he took the baby from her arms and a tear fell down his cheek as he looked at his baby girl and held her for the first and what could be the last time.

"I'll leave you to it" Rachel said, excuding herself from the room, Both Quinn and Puck smiled at her.

"She's terrified" Quinn said

"I don't blame her" he said and Quinn laughed a bit "Did you really mean that you hated me in there for doing this to you?"

Quinn shook her head "No, I was just in pain" she stifled a laugh "I love you really" he kissed her then.

"Do you want to keep her" he asked her, not knowing what she was feeling right now. She shook her head and he nodded and looked at her one more time before he gave her back to Quinn

"I'm sorry, but I can't" she said and he nodded

"I know, But one day we will have a family" he said smiling at her, he kissed the top of her head before he lay beside her int he bed, he stroked his little girls hand and a tear escaped his eye when she grabbed hold of his finger. "I love you" he told her.

**Please Review! X**


	18. Dear Diary

**This is just a short chapter... I'm not sure how many more there will be, but I don't think it will be too many! I hope you enjoy this and please review! **

**-xx-**

_Dear Diary._

_I'm now 8 months pregnant, I still can't believe that this is all happening, it's kind of crazy, that night still haunts me, but it no longer frightens me to think that in a month I will have a beautiful baby girl. The man still hasn't been caught, so that still upsets me, to think that he could still be doing this to young girls, or any girl. It sickens me and makes me so angry, I try not to think of him, I try to think that one day he will get what he deserves and he'll be behind bars._

_But right now I'm focusing on my little girl, I've bought a few clothing items, but I still haven't gotten a cot or anything permanent, because what if when she comes I decide I can't do it and then I'll have the reminders of her to get rid of, that would kill me._

_I'm so proud of Quinn, she was able to give up her little girl, I know it killed her and it killed Puck, she was beautiful, they named her Beth before they left her to go to a good family, she's getting back to normal, but I know that inside she still hurts and she has doubts, but I know the welfare of her little Beth over shadow those doubts. She keeps a picture on in her purse and Puck has on in his wallet, I saw him staring at it the other day in the lunch queue I could see how much it up set him, but he wants the best for Quinn and their relationship is stronger now than it ever was._

_I'm so scared about having this baby, I mean I know about all the pain, but what if I have her and then I can't bear to look at her? How awful of a mother would I be then?_

_I've been really happy lately and I really owe it all to Finn, Quinn and everyone in glee they have all been there for me and it feels really good, when I sing and I look a little tired everyone is rushing around me asking if I want anything, it gets a little annoying, but it's still nice to know that they care that much, it's really sweet.  
And Finn he has been so amazing, we had that talk and ever since then he had been my best friend again the Finn Hudson I first knew and loved and it's been so great, we can talk about anything and he always knows what to say to make me feel better, he comes to all my doctor's appointments and he doesn't blame himself for what happened anymore, I had a lot to do with that, I was basically his therapist for a good while until he finally realised he wasn't to blame!_

_I'm still going to counselling and Lynn is so great, she has really helped me, and I owe a lot to her, she made me see that this was a gift, it would still hurt but she made me see that I could get over it, she really is an amazing person! _

_I have managed to bring the list of baby names down to four names, I love them all so much though and it is going to be so hard to choose just one! But I know when she comes that I will know exactly what to call her! So for now the little princess growing inside me will be called one of the following names: Bella, Maria, Indigo, and Tessa._

_Rachel _


	19. Do You Want A Stool, Rachel?

**Thanks a lot! Please keep reviewing! Reviews are greatly loved and appreciated! **

"Do you want a stool Rachel" Mr Shue asked as everyone fussed around the heavily pregnant girl... she rolled her eyes slightly, but she sat down on the stool Mr Shue had provided, she sighed and looked at the rest of the glee club.

"Look, I know I'm pregnant and ready for labour anytime soon, but until that days comes, I need to just carry on like I'm not pregnant, don't treat me differently or anything, I want to join in the dance routine, not sit on the stool like a Muppet while the rest of you dance around me!" she said getting a little angry by the end but calming herself down and putting a smile on her face, hoping the rest of the glee club would appreciate how she felt and do what she asked.

"We just don't want you hurting yourself, Rach, I got the same thing when I was pregnant!" Quinn said, her eyes looked a little pleading, she must have really wanted Rachel to stay on the stool

"Yeah, we just want you to rest and not get done out or anything" Finn added

"I'm fine, it's not like it's that much hard work... And Quinn I never once asked you to sit out, I was quite annoyed when they made you, I mean you were only pregnant not dying!" Rachel said and the glee club giggled a little, including Quinn... Rachel was always about getting things done and never stopping.

"We all understand, but we would feel a whole lot better if you didn't do as much, that's all Rachel" Mr Shue said

She gave up then, deciding she couldn't argue with them anymore "Ok, fine I'll sit here and sing, but it my voice isn't good enough don't blame me, blame the stool!" She said, everyone smiled and got back to what they were doing. Rachel did do what she said she stayed on the stool and swayed, and she tapped her foot every now and again, it was very annoying to not be able to get up and dance with everyone else, but it was also relaxing... she was enjoying it.

"Guys" Rachel said from the stool, not quite loud enough for them to hear, but she needed to say something, suddenly she felt a liquid on the stool beneath her and she didn't quite know what to do, they were having a good practice... the best since they arrived and she really didn't want to interrupt, glee always came first in her life.

But this time she had to stop them, she screamed loudly and everyone stopped and looked at her, Puck was the closest to her so he was first over, but he was closely followed by Finn and Quinn, the other members came over quickly to, but they stayed back a bit wanting to give them room.

"What's wrong?" Puck asked grabbing her arm, the first thing he could grab "Can you breathe?" he asked, and a few quiet giggles could be heard

"I think my waters broke" Rachel said her eyes in a stare "And the pain I'm feeling, I'm pretty sure it's a contraction... OW!" she yelled out "Yep! Contraction" she said with gritted teeth

"I'll get the car" Puck said running from the room

Quinn and Finn both took one of Rachel's arms and helped her leave the room "I'm scared" she said on the way out a tear falling from her eye, Finn wiped it away with his hand he wasn't using

"It will be ok, Stay strong" He said, as he said it she let another scream erupt from her as another contraction waved through her. They climbed into Pucks car, Finn sat in the back with Rachel while Quinn and Puck sat in the front "You need to hurry man" Finn said as Rachel panted through the pain, Puck nodded and sped off.

They arrived at the hospital and they got Rachel into a wheelchair and wheeled her to the maternity ward where a doctor took charge, she was almost ready for delivery so she was brought straight through to the delivery room, Finn, Quinn and Puck all changed into the gowns and Finn held Rachel hand the through everything

"Why do I get myself into these situations?" Puck said watching Rachel scream and watching Finn as his face went red as Rachel squeezed his hand "You were enough to never be back in here, yet her I am!" He said directing his speech at Quinn, she shrugged and moved closer to the bed, and taking Rachel's other hand in hers

"It will be over soon, just breathe and push... come on you can do it!" She encouraged Rachel, letting her squeeze her hand and rubbing her forehead soothingly.

Rachel gritted her teeth and she pushed, sweat dripped from her face, but all she could think about how her little girl was going to be here very soon... and all she could worry about was that she would be 3 weeks early and that terrified her "Will she be okay?" she said between pants "3 weeks...early" she added

The doctor nodded "Many babies come earlier than expected, she must have been ready" he told her and a sigh of relief filled her before more pain and she screamed louder than before

"GOD!" she yelled "GET OUT" she yelled again and puck laughed a little before she gave him the evil eyes and he backed off slightly.

"Your nearly there... come on you can do this" Finn said rubbing her back and he saw her body ache in pain.

A crying could be heard all through the room and Rachel slumped down on the bed panting as she breathed, Relief was clearly shown on her face, but a huge smile was there too, she looked at Finn he was returning the smile, she squeezed his hand, lightly and smiled at him.

"There you go, mommy" The nurse put the baby girl in Rachel's arms after she cleaned her, she was beautiful, Rachel couldn't help but smile just looking at her, she had he big brown eyes and she was just perfect, not once did she thing of the father of the baby, not once did she think about what happened to her, all that mattered was that her baby was healthy and safe.


	20. I Have A Baby

"I have a baby" Rachel grinned widely when she awoke from the deep sleep she had fallen into, "Where is she?" She asked when she looked around and saw only a nurse in the room, she snapped herself out of the drowsy just woken up feeling and panic set in, and she jumped up and scanned the room for her little girl

The nurse quickly seen this and rushed to her "Rachel, it's okay... she's just outside with one of your friends, I had to do some tests on you and I asked your friend to leave and he took the baby with him, she's perfectly fine"

Rachel breathed a sigh of relief and settled back down into the bed, pulling the blankets up round herself.

"How are you feeling?" The nurse asked her, taking her wrist and checking her pulse

"I'm ok" Rachel said "A little tired" she added

The nurse nodded "That's expected, but no sickness or pain?" She asked her, Rachel shook her head "Well it looks like you will be out here soon, we'll have someone bring round papers for you to sign and then you can go, it should be about an hour or so"

Rachel smiled and nodded "Can you tell them to come back in?" She asked the nurse as she was leaving

"Sure" The nurse smiled and left the room.

It wasn't long before the door opened and Finn walked in cradling her baby in his arms, she was expecting Quinn to still be here, but when the door closed behind him and no else appeared she realised only Finn was there "Where's Quinn?" she asked him

"Puck took her home about an hour ago, she thought you would just need some time" he said "And I think the baby stuff was really getting to her, she had a brave face on, but you could tell she was upset"

Rachel nodded "I didn't even think of that" she said and sighed thinking of how terrible her friend would be feeling right now "How is she?" Rachel asked

Finn looked down to the baby in his arms "Perfect" he smiled, he crossed the room and stood closer to her bed, he reached down and placed her in Rachel's arms "Does she have a name yet?" he asked her and saw Rachel flinch a little bit, maybe it was too much for her he thought

Her face lit up with a huge smile the minute she looked at her baby girl "Hello" she cooed, she looked back up at Finn and shook her head "I had it narrowed down to 4 but I can't choose" her eyes filled with tears, but she blinked them back "I can't name her, what if I decide I can't keep her?" she asked him, one tear escaping, he wiped it away

"You're doing pretty well, you haven't cried or anything, you haven't thought of him. She's your baby Rachel" he told her

"I can stop thinking that's he's out there, what if he finds out and he comes after me to take her away!"

"I would never allow that Rachel, He won't find out anything, she's your baby no one else's!"

Rachel nodded "Bella" she said

"Bella?" Finn asked "That's a beautiful name"

"It's a name that I've always liked, and when I was younger and I just think about my mom, I used to think about her as Bella, I don't know why, but she was Bella to me"

Finn smiled "Bella Berry?" Finn laughed a little at the sound of the name "She already sounds like star with a name like that"

Rachel giggled a little "Ok, maybe I didn't think this through; I want her middle name to be Beth, Bella Beth Berry? That sounds awful" she said

"No, It sounds beautiful, just like her" Finn took hold of Rachel's hand and smiled at her "Congratulations Rachel, You'll make a wonderful mom"

"Thank You" she smiled

-XX-

It had been 3 days since Rachel had her baby, she had been staying at home and she hadn't really left her room, it was turned into a sort of nursery now, there was no spare room, so the baby stayed in Rachel's room, not that that bothered her, she hadn't left her side, afraid of anything happening to her, when someone else was holding her she was right by them.

The doorbell rang "Can you get that" She yelled down the stairs, not wanting to leave Bella alone for even a second. The door opened and she heard Finn's voice echoing through the house, she then heard footsteps coming up the stairs and she smiled as he entered her room, his smiled was larger than usual, she noticed

"You need to come with me" he said

"Why?" she asked wrinkling her nose as she asked the question

"You just do, trust me" he said, he took her hand and pulled her to her feet "Can you leave Bella with your dad's?" he asked her

She looked horrified at the thought of leaving her "Just for half an hour, Rach... You'll have to leave her sometime" he said and noticed she still wasn't keen on the idea

"Ok" she said slowly, she lifted Bella from her crib and took her downstairs "Can you look after her for a bit?" both Leroy and Hiram looked at one another before nodding "Thanks" she said handing the baby over to Leroy, who smiled as she took hold of his little finger.

"Can you tell me where were going?" She asked Finn when she turned around to look at him; he shook his head "Please?" she asked her best puppy dog eyes now in play

"Just come with me, it's important"

"Ok" she said, he took hold of her hand before they left, she blew a kiss to Bella as she closed the door, and she felt even more reluctant to leave her when she was outside, Finn noticed this he gripped her hand tighter and lead her to the car.

When the pulled up the police station Rachel was even more confused that before "What are we doing here?"

Finn turned to look at her, taking her hand in his "They found him" he told her, he studied her face, expecting to see floods of tears, but instead it was blank "Are you ok?" he asked her

She nodded "Are you sure?" she asked him

"That's why we are here, we have to identify him in a line up" he told her, he squeezed her hand tighter when he noticed her reluctance, the color sort of faded from her face, probably at the thought of seeing him again

"Ok" she said stepping out of the car, Finn got out the other side and joined her quickly "Are you ok with this?" he asked her

"Yep, the sooner we go in there the better, and my life can finally be good again, and free from all of this, come on" she said grabbing his hand and trailing him into the building.

They stood behind a glass window and waited, one by one 5 walked into the room, Rachel's attacker being number 4, her heart stopped for a second when she seen his face again and a tear fell down her cheek "Number 4" she said with no emotion to her voice

"Are you sure" the police officer asked her

"Do you think I would forget the face of my rapist?" she asked him and he nodded at her

"And you?" he asked Finn

"Number 4" Finn said, the police officer thanked them and told them they could leave

When they got outside, tears were falling swiftly down Rachel's cheeks, Finn wiped them away with his hand and placed the other on her shoulder "its ok Rachel" he said embracing her in a hug

"I can move on" she said stepping back out of the hug "He's behind bars, he can't hurt me or Bella or anyone else again" she said and for the first time a smile crossed her face

She hugged Finn again, she looked up to his face "Thank you" she said

"For what?" he asked her

"Everything" she kissed his lips softly "I love you" she told him and kissed him again, this time the kiss was filled with passion, The broke the kiss, Finn took Rachel's hand and led her back to the car, smiling the whole way and never once breaking contact with her eyes

"I've always loved you, and I'll never stop... and I want to be there for Bella too, if you'll let me"

Rachel's smiled grew wider, she nodded "She's needs a dad like you" A tear escaped Finn's eye as he kissed her again; every emotion filled him as he thought about Bella being his.


	21. You Are My Baby Love

**Thank you to everyone who ever read this! And reviewed, you have all put a smile on my face and made this even more enjoyable to write! :) Please review this one and let me know if you like the way I have ended it..**

**This is the last chapter! I hope you have enjoyed reading it as much as I have writing it! **** This is just a short finishing chapter...**

**Keep an eye out for my new fics that will probably be coming soon! Please review! I'm working on one at the minute called "Downhill From Regionals"**

**Please put me on Author Alert if you are kind enough too and enjoy! **

**-XX-**

**

* * *

**

"She's so cute" Tina said smiling at Rachel holding the baby in her arms, she had only walked through the door and everyone was already crowding around her

"Does she have a name?" Emma asked, peering over the crowd that was forming around Rachel "Guys, why don't we all take a seat and let them breathe?" Emma said trying to direct all of the glee kids to chairs, Rachel gave her a look that said Thank You and smiled at her, Emma smiled back once all the glee club member were in their seats.

Rachel took a seat in front of them all, "Sorry" Tina said "Were all just a little excited" she said while everyone else nodded and craned their necks to try and see the baby wrapped up in a pink blanket in Rachel's arms, Finn stood behind her looking down at the baby girl and smiling as she looked up at him

"So does she have a name?" Kurt asked

Rachel nodded "Her name's Bella" she smiled "Bella Beth" she looked at Quinn who immediately took her eyes of the baby and stared at Rachel, She smiled at her a tear falling down her face 'Thank You' she mouthed and Rachel nodded

"Belle Beth Berry?" Kurt asked, sounding a little disappointed by her name choice

Rachel shook her head "Hudson" she said smiling up at Finn

Finn's eyes widened, he never knew that they baby would take his surname "Are you sure?" he asked Rachel their eyes connecting,

She nodded with a smile "I want you to be her father, I want her to have your name" she said

"Thank you" he told her "You don't know how much that means"

"God, I'm going to cry" Mercedes said and everyone else laughed

"So who wants a hold?" Rachel said grinning at the group in front of her who were now fighting to get there arm raised the highest... Rachel stood up and placed Bella in Quinn's arms carefully smiling at her and kissing her forehead as she moved back to Finn "Careful now, she's precious" she laughed

Mr Shue placed a hand on Rachel's shoulder "I'm glad you back to your normal self... we all missed you, you know" he said smiling at her

She turned to looked at him, she placed her arms around him nod hugged him tightly, "Thanks Mr Shue" she said "We had something to ask you" she looked at Finn who nodded "Would you be Bella's Godfather?" she asked him

She watched as his eyes filled with tears "I'd be honoured" he said

Rachel gave him a smiled before crossing the room, Brittany was now holding Bella, and although Rachel's mind told her to worry for the safety of her child she just smiled and watched as Santana eyes' never left Brittany's arms where the small baby girl lay, she quickly looked up to smile at Rachel, Rachel giggled a little and smiled back

"Quinn..." she said sitting down beside her "Would you be Bella's Godmother?" Rachel asked, Quinn immediately broke out in tears, she hugged Rachel tightly

"Of course I would" she said between sobs "Thank you, for everything" she said, Rachel returned the hug, gripped her tightly and letting her sob in her arms.

"Guys... Thank you for everything... these past few months have been that hardest times of my life, but you all have been there for me and that is more than I could ever ask for, I just want to let you all know that I love you, and that you will always be family to me" she said a tear running down her cheek

"Now how about some glee practice?" she said smiling standing up and moving to the piano to take charge of the room

Everyone laughed; Rachel Berry was back to her old self... This time with a beautiful baby and a loving boyfriend... "This is something I've been working on, and I'd like to dedicate it to the best boyfriend in the world"

**I remember like it was yesterday****  
****First kiss and I knew you changed the game****  
****You have me, exactly, well you want it,****  
****And I'm on it**

**And I ain't ever gonna let you get away****  
****Holdin' hands never made me feel this way****  
****So special, boy it's your, it's your smile****  
****We so in love**

**La la la la****  
****Yeah****  
****We so in love****  
****La la la la la****  
****And I just can't get enough****  
****Of your La la la la la****  
****Yeah we so in love, love****  
****I want you to know**

**You are my baby love, my baby love****  
****You make the sun come up (Oh boy, oh boy)****  
****You're my every, everything that I could ever dream of****  
****You are my baby love, my baby love****  
****You make the sun come up (Oh boy, oh boy)****  
****You're my every, every, every, everything**

**Been a minute and we still holding it down****  
****Butterflies every time you come around****  
****You make me, so crazy****  
****It's crazy, oh baby**

**And I don't ever wanna be with no one else****  
****You're the only one that ever made me melt****  
****You're special, boy it's your, your style****  
****We so in love**

**La la la la****  
****Yeah****  
****We so in love****  
****La la la la la****  
****And I just can't get enough****  
****Of your La la la la la****  
****Yeah it's all I'm thinking of****  
****Love****  
****I want you to know**

**You are my baby love, my baby love****  
****You make the sun come up (Oh boy, oh boy)****  
****You're my every, everything that I could ever dream of****  
****You are my baby love, my baby love****  
****You make the sun come up (Oh boy, oh boy)**

**You're my every, everything that I could ever dream of****  
****You are my baby love, my baby love****  
****You make the sun come up ****  
****You're my every, everything that I could ever dream of****  
****You are my baby love, my baby love****  
****You make the sun come up ****  
****You're my every, every, every, everything**

**Everything, everything, ooo****  
****Everything, everything, ooo**

**Everything, everything, ooo****  
****Everything, everything, ooo**

**You are my baby love, my baby love****  
****You make the sun come up (Oh boy, oh boy)****  
****You're my every, everything that I could ever dream of****  
****You are my baby love, my baby love****  
****You make the sun come up (Oh boy, oh boy)****  
****You're my every, every, every, everything****  
****You are my baby love, my baby love****  
****You make the sun come up (Oh boy, oh boy)****  
****You're my every, every, every, everything****  
****You are my baby love, my baby love****  
****You make the sun come up (Oh boy, oh boy)****  
****(You make the sun come up on a cloudy day****  
****You're my number one, you're my special thing)****  
****You're my every, every, every, everything**

**Everything, everything, ooo****  
****Everything, everything, ooo****  
****You are my baby, baby, baby, baby love**

**Everything, everything, ooo****  
****Everything, everything, ooo****  
****You're my everything****  
****You are my baby, baby, baby, baby love**


End file.
